Have you ever looked at your dog and wondered, “What the hell are you thinking about right now?” Â I can tell you the answer to that… it’s nothing. Â Well, at least nothing of any serious importance. Â Know why? Â Because their life is friggen awesome. Â Their only source of stress stems from the fear of letting you down and whether or not they can sneak some extra food into their day.
Here’s a list of reasons why life is just better when you’re a dog.
You almost never have to wipe after you poop.
Look how happy this guy is. It’s probably because he knows you have to clean it up.
Drinking from theÂ toilet has nothing to do with college.Â
Looks weird when he does it, right? Totally fine if you’re a dog though.
You never need a girlfriend.
See what I mean?
It’s completely acceptable to sleep all day.Â
Dog+sleep= fine. This guy+sleep= creeper. Pretty simple.
NobodyÂ questions your life choices after they step in your shit.Â
Look at all the judgement! There’s definitely not going to be a second date.
You have a sexual position named after you.Â
They looked shocked, right? (No, I am not proud of that pun)
Everyone blames the dog when they fart, soÂ technically you have the freedom to let them fly.Â
The truth hurts. Sometimes farts do too.
No matter how old you get it’s still acceptable to play with toys.Â
If he were a dog he wouldn’t look so much like a pedophile… or Jesse from Breaking Bad.
DMX will do impressions of you.
They won’t be very good impressions but, ya know… street cred. Hooray!
Nobody thinks it’s weird when you want your butt scratched.Â
If I drag my bare ass on the floor in public I’m probably getting arrested.