Woody Harrelson has applied to own a marijuana dispensary

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Actor Woody Harrelson talks about HBO's "True Detective" during the Winter 2014 TCA presentations in Pasadena

Actor, activist, and longtime Hawaii resident, Woody Harrelson is amongst a slew of entrepreneurs who have applied for the licenses necessary to run a marijuana dispensary in Honolulu City. Recently, the state of Hawaii adopted a bill which allows for the Department of Health to issue eight licenses throughout the state. The bill stated that each licensed business owner will be able to operate four locations – two grow operations and two retail operations.

And one Golden Corral.

And one Golden Corral.

Hawaii was the first state to adopt a medical marijuana program way back in 2000, answering the likely question of “why would Woody Harrelson move to Hawaii?” Then again, as a marijuana activist, vegan, and friend to flowered shirts, it seems like a perfect fit. Harrelson’s company, Simple Organic Living, LLC specializes in … well, I don’t really feel like doing the research, but I’d assume they sell loofahs and um … beans n shit. Whatever. Honestly, you could put Woody’s face on just about anything and I’d consider buying it. That’s why I own a VHS of Money Train.

Which presupposes that I'm on a first name basis with its stars.

Which presupposes that I’m on a first name basis with its stars.

And while I wish Woody the best with his venture, my wish comes with a cautionary warning, one that has been plaguing distributors of illicit substances since the dawn of economics: DON’T SMOKE YOUR PRODUCT. It’s the easiest way to fuck up your business. I repeat: DON’T SMOKE YOUR PRODUCT.

Woody, are you listening?!?

"Yeah I'm listening!"

“Yeah I’m listening!”

DON’T

"Huh?"

“Huh?”

SMOKE

"You talkin' to me?"

“You talkin’ to me?”

YOUR PRODUCT!

Goddamnit, Woody!

Goddamnit, Woody!

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