comedy

Aug 23, 2017

Comedian Mike Masilotti Takes Shrooms Then Performs

Stand-Up comedy is not an easy thing to do.  And it gets a whole lot tougher when you’re high on...

Feb 10, 2017

See What I’m Saying?

Here’s a random thought… how do blind people know when they’re done wiping? It’s not like they can just casually...

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Feb 7, 2017

An Interview With My Liver

If you were my liver you’d hate me. Hell, if I were my liver I’d hate me. Unfortunately I don’t...

Feb 2, 2017

People To Avoid At Your Super Bowl Party

This Sunday it doesn’t matter if you do or don’t like football.  It doesn’t matter if your team didn’t make...

Jan 30, 2017

The 10 Worst Places To Lose Your Virginity

As a kid every guy wondered what his first sexual experience was going to be like.  Who would it be...

Jan 27, 2017

Something In Your Eye?

You know what type of person I really hate? Someone who can wink and look cool. I can’t do that....

Jan 20, 2017

Crapped Out

Have you ever been so broke you start doing toilet paper math? Like, you’re mid way through your last roll...

Sometimes I Can’t Sleep

I believe it was Ferris Bueller who once said, “Life moves pretty fast.  If you don’t stop and look around...

Jan 16, 2017

Thanksgiving Sucks

[NOTE: This post, “Thanksgiving Sucks” was written in 2014 by Matt Pass, a former Regretful Morning scribe. Matt, if you’re...

Nov 24, 2016

5 HUGE Predictions for Captain America: Civil War

This week we see yet another release of yet another movie in which yet another group of superheroes fight yet...

May 5, 2016

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Apr 29, 2016

5 Awful People Who Absolutely Need to Die

Let’s be honest. Human beings are selfish consumers by nature, and the rate at which we are consuming is surpassed...

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Mar 2, 2016

Katt Williams can’t stop being a total dingus

Is it really news anymore when Katt Williams gets arrested? I mean it’s happened what, 25 times now? It’s starting...

Nov 23, 2015

Zoolander 2 Comes Out Next Year and People are Already Offended by Its Content

Just last week the trailer for Zoolander 2, the sequel to the wildly successful Ben Stiller comedy hit the Internet,...

Jun 8, 2015

3 Unlikely Inventors

3 Unlikely Inventors Inventors rarely get the credit they deserve. Do you know who invented the couch? Me neither. What...

May 25, 2015

Please Help Me Locate the Geniuses Behind the Funniest Video Ever

Last week, my girlfriend introduced me to an AMAZING YouTube video called “Butt Holes (pilot episode).” I can confidently say...

Apr 5, 2015

Scarecrow Sex Kills Man

Neighbors of a shepherd in Argentina were shocked to discover what appeared to be two dead bodies on the property....

Apr 2, 2015

4 Famous Moments Not in the Original

A famous piece of pop culture can be adapted in endless ways: A film could be remade in another country,...

Mar 13, 2015

Celebs Born on Friday the 13th

Ah, Friday the 13th. My favorite holiday based on bad luck. It isn’t tied to  certain month or anything, it...

Feb 13, 2015

Why Friday the 13th is the Best Holiday

I am an advocate for all things spooky, even though #LetsGetSpooky caught on about as well as “fetch” and of...

Feb 9, 2015

4 Basic Human Things (I Can’t Do)

I’ve been a human for 25 years and, man, I still don’t have the hang of it. I mean I’m...

Jan 26, 2015

4 Best Winter Things

Winter sucks. Your car windows are always frozen shut, your dong shrinks (even though it’s normally, like, totally huge) and...

Jan 12, 2015

Man Finds Saturated Fat, Demon in his McDonalds

If you ever want a peek into a dark world of nightmares look no further than the ingredients list for...

Jan 10, 2015

Hot Dating Tips 2015!

It’s 2015. Hasn’t anybody told you that yet? The 2000s are fifteen years old, which means they’re beginning to go...

Dec 31, 2014

My 4 New Year’s Resolutions

2014 was a very busy year for me. I started the year by hosting a string of successful stand up...

Dec 25, 2014

5 Reasons Gift Cards Suck

At a certain age I decided that I’d prefer cash to birthday gifts–the ability to get what I actually wanted,...

Dec 17, 2014

Word(s) of the Year: 2014

2014 is coming to an end, and it is an important time for top word authorities, by which I  mean...

Dec 12, 2014

3 Insane Court Decisions

Court is a hassle that I don’t wish for anybody to deal with (like I did). There are rescheduled hearings,...

Dec 5, 2014

You Have a Dirty Mind (So Do These Ordinary Items) [15 pics]

It’s a magical feeling when you see something that looks like something else: a cloud that looks like an elephant,...

Nov 27, 2014

Don’t Get Trampled Today: 4 Black Friday Tips

Sure, Thanksgiving sucked, but not as much as Black Friday will. I don’t go shopping on Black Friday, or ever,...

Nov 26, 2014

Man Points Banana at Police; Is Not Shot To Death

Surely you’ve already been bombarded with news about the Feguson decision (in which a police officer who shoot an unarmed...

Nov 18, 2014

9 Weirdest Things Ever Said During Sex

People say a lot of things during sex that they wouldn’t say in their daily conversations. We say things because...

Nov 13, 2014

How Debt Collectors Can Get Us to Answer Their Calls

While I hate when debt collectors call, it also gives me a brief feeling of power. We have the ability...

Nov 10, 2014

6 Things to NEVER Say to Comedians

The first time I got on stage to tell jokes was September 2012, at a Philadelphia bar called Noche. When...

Nov 7, 2014

What Working Overnight Does to You

I’ve written about my day job before: once about the consequences of sleeping with a co-worker and again about the...

Oct 30, 2014

Man Makes Last Promises To Dying Wife (3:13)

With his old lady on her death bed, Todd has some very important promises to make....

Oct 29, 2014

“Operation” Inventor Can’t Afford an Operation

John Spinello invented the classic board game Operation in 1964 and sold the design for a mere $500. Spinello now...