Octopus Squeezes Itself Through Tiniest Of Holes

Any guy that has ever awoken in a stranger’s bed after an awkward hookup knows exactly how this octopus feels.  It’s all fun and games until you realize she has a mustache.  Then it’s time to get the hell out of there.

The door is locked?  Windows have bars on them?  Chimney blocked up?  F*ck it.  I’ll just squeeze through this here tiny hole in the wall to freedom.  Thanks for the story I’ll share with my buddies on our group chat later.


  • Patrick LawlorREGRETFULMORNING Writer
    Patrick Lawlor is a writer/comedian who studied improv and sketch comedy at the Upright Citizens Brigade in New York.
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