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Coachella Is A Strange Place

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So Coachella is happening. Does anyone really care? Probably not. And if you do, well, then, I’d hate to get a peek at your hard drive.

If you don’t know what Coachella is, it’s what every music festival ever would have looked like if the hippies had been able to overthrow the government back in the 60’s. What started out as a gathering of music enthusiasts throwing a pretty awesome party has basically evolved into a carnival of “How weird can I dress to get the attention from others that my father never provided when I was a child?”

Want to know just how weird some of these people are willing to get? Well, check out these photos from this year’s event.

Terrifying on so many levels.

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This guy managed to combine three different things people are afraid of in one costume… 1. Clowns, 2. Cops, 3. A dude in a spandex onesie with his nips hanging out.

Here’s a twofer.

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So here we have a guy dressed like Nemo who doesn’t want to be recognized and a guy dressed like a unicorn who is praying to be recognized. This is why I always wear a condom, even when I masturbate.

The roofie wore off and now she can’t even…

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I can’t prove that this statement is true but doesn’t it kind of feel accurate?

This D-Bag.

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It was weird when Borat did it. Nobody thinks you’re cool, they’re just praying you get tasered.

The Vegas Lounge Chair.

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You know, just an outfit that looks exactly like the style of chair Frank Sinatra would have been sitting in while getting a hand job during the heyday of The Rat Pack. 

Wait, what?

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A panda head and a dong bag? On the bright side, you know this guy definitely lost that phone he’s carrying.

I fully support this outfit. 

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There is no way those pasties held up the entire time. That’s a victory for everyone.

Definitely peyote. 

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This guy’s drug of choice is definitely peyote. Downside, he’s probably douchey enough to refer to tequila as “fire water.”

Because, ya know, umbrellas. 

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It’s like she wants to go for a run but she thinks it might rain so she grabs an umbrella and a gypsy’s bandanna for protection. Also, she thinks her socks go on her hands.

Furries! 

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When that wet dream you were having randomly transforms into a f*cking nightmare. Everything was going great until they sprouted unicorn heads and you turned into a rabbit.

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@_PatrickLawlor

StaffREGRETFULMORNING Writer
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