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10 Fascinating Easter Facts

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For the most part everyone is familiar with the basic facts in regards to the Easter Holiday. It started with Jesus dying on a cross and then morphed into an event where a bunny craps out eggs and leaves you candy. Totally makes sense.

But that’s not all there is to the story. Here are some absolutely true but very little known facts about Easter and what the holiday has brought to the world.

Jesus was unbeatable at Peek-A-Boo.

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It’s not even fair. And doesn’t it also kind of look like he’s judging you?

The tradition of hiding eggs was started to help farmers with Alzheimer’s feel better about themselves. 

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Poor bastard’s wife finally just decided to make a game out of it.

If the Easter Bunny sees his shadow we’re supposed to have another six weeks of Lent.

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Although, I heard Jesus gets cranky when he oversleeps so this one isn’t really followed anymore.

Candy is a big part of Easter because God hates diabetics. 

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This is an actual picture of God taking someone out.

The very first Easter Bunny was a pedophile. 

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Do not sit on this guy’s lap… ever.

In Russia, if you die on Easter, most funeral homes will hide the body and force the grieving family to find it before services will be rendered.

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Ugh… grandpa could be anywhere.

The Golden Easter Egg was originally a marketing ploy to get the Jews on board. 

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It didn’t work.

Jesus was the very first zombie.

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He was alive, then he wasn’t, but then he was… and then he wasn’t again… but now still kind of is. Also, bonus points for dressing like the King of Pop.

Cops used to believe the Easter Bunny was a drug dealer. 

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It made sense. The guy wore a disguise, got kids all “hopped up,” on “candy,” and went by a number of aliases. They totally missed the pedophile thing, though.

Ancient civilizations used to embalm people using marshmallow Peeps. 

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Which is exactly why most people find them disgusting but also kind of necessary on Easter.

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@_PatrickLawlor

StaffREGRETFULMORNING Writer
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