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I Shit You Not

We’re all familiar with the saying, “One bad apple can spoil the bunch,” right? Well, in China this also applies to taking a dump in public. After an apparent year long battle with combating the theft of toilet paper from public restrooms in southern Beijing, local officials have decided to implement a facial recognition system to dispense the necessary amount of product.

Yup. You have to smile into the camera as your identity gets logged, approved and then dispensed a mere 24 inches of toilet paper for you to go about your business. 24 inches! That’s all you get. It’s like whoever came up with this system never ate Chinese food before.

They would be better off dispensing adult diapers than twenty-four inches of toilet paper. What’s the point of only getting halfway done with wiping your butt? Then you have to walk around all day with that awful dirt-butt itch that you can’t even scratch because you’d end up looking like you didn’t properly wipe… which you didn’t.

I couldn’t find a video of the actual software in use so instead here’s a video of a guy doing aerobics while trying not to shit himself.

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@_PatrickLawlor

ig: Seriouslyiampatrick

StaffREGRETFULMORNING Writer
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