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Things That Meteorologists Would Be Better At Than Their Current Job



The northeast has been prepping all week for a monster storm that was predicted to dump upwards of two feet of snow in certain areas.  As you can imagine this was only true for a few locations mentioned in the original doomsday trajectory.

If I happen to see any more rain fall outside of my window I’m going to gather up two of every animal and start building an arc.

Here’s a list of things meteorologists would be better at than their current job.

Reading the winning tickets at the Oscars.


I think they just predicted more snow.

Become a fluffer in the porn industry.


Looks like the forecast calls for scattered golden showers.

Celebrity marriage counselor. 


Even a meteorologist could have predicted this outcome.

Constructing Xanadu in East Rutherford, New Jersey. 


It’s been over ten years and it’s still not opened. Eh… close enough. Oh, and sweet color scheme.

Delivering a miscarriage. 


The majority of your predictions are just failed science anyway, so this is oddly appropriate.

Finding WMD’s in Iraq.


They were also included in the blizzard forecast.

Predict the outcome for the 2016 election.


Nope. Close, though.

Stabilize the economy. 


We’re so in debt as a country that we’re just making numbers up as we go. It’s a lot like predicting the weather.

Become a crash test dummy.


Let’s hope whoever manufactured those seat belts is better at his job than you are at yours.

Event Planner.


Forecast said it was going to be sunny. I’d just blame the f*cking weather man.



Ig: Seriouslyiampatrick

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