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Things That Meteorologists Would Be Better At Than Their Current Job

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The northeast has been prepping all week for a monster storm that was predicted to dump upwards of two feet of snow in certain areas.  As you can imagine this was only true for a few locations mentioned in the original doomsday trajectory.

If I happen to see any more rain fall outside of my window I’m going to gather up two of every animal and start building an arc.

Here’s a list of things meteorologists would be better at than their current job.

Reading the winning tickets at the Oscars.

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I think they just predicted more snow.

Become a fluffer in the porn industry.

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Looks like the forecast calls for scattered golden showers.

Celebrity marriage counselor. 

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Even a meteorologist could have predicted this outcome.

Constructing Xanadu in East Rutherford, New Jersey. 

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It’s been over ten years and it’s still not opened. Eh… close enough. Oh, and sweet color scheme.

Delivering a miscarriage. 

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The majority of your predictions are just failed science anyway, so this is oddly appropriate.

Finding WMD’s in Iraq.

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They were also included in the blizzard forecast.

Predict the outcome for the 2016 election.

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Nope. Close, though.

Stabilize the economy. 

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We’re so in debt as a country that we’re just making numbers up as we go. It’s a lot like predicting the weather.

Become a crash test dummy.

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Let’s hope whoever manufactured those seat belts is better at his job than you are at yours.

Event Planner.

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Forecast said it was going to be sunny. I’d just blame the f*cking weather man.

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@_PatrickLawlor

Ig: Seriouslyiampatrick

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