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Ever wonder what people call you behind your back?  You probably don’t think much about it but it happens.  People develop some pretty strange names and never even know about it.  I do it all the time.  Everybody that goes to my gym has a nickname they’ve never heard.  Those are the fun nicknames.  But what about the other ones?  That unfortunate label you may have picked up for pissing your pant in high school, or that one time you sneezed and farted simultaneously and both shit and snot came out.  You can’t shakes those kinds of nicknames.

A guy you went to grammar school with will be on his deathbed one day and have a flashback to good old Sneezy Shits McGee and start laughing his ass off.  That’s a life label right there. Kind of like these…

Here are some of the world’s worst nicknames.

Poop Tooth.

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To be fair it does kind of look like her gums just took a dump.

Still Born.

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If you ended up with this label try to look on the bright side… you’re probably too stupid to realize it’s an insult.

Thunder Dumps.

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Your love for tacos got the better of you and now somewhere out in the world there is a toilet that hates you.

Missile Tits. 

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Puberty didn’t go as planned and now you’re stuck with these oddly shaped weapons of mass destruction.

Dragon Breath.

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Brushing your teeth might help. I mean, it probably won’t but at least you’re not as bad off as Poop Tooth.

Five Head.

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It doesn’t matter that your head got stuck in the birth canal, this name is going be with you for life.

Stank Pits. 

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Don’t tell me it’s a gland problem. It’s a you problem.

Sleeper Queef.

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It snuck out just that one time… but everybody around you heard it. Try to embrace it.

Booger Nose.

A cartoon man in prayer with a tiny booger in his nose.

This name actually followed me around until I was like 17, but at least my pits didn’t stink.

Chimp Nips.

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Whether you’re a guy or a girl there’s really no upside to this one.

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@_PatrickLawlor

Ig: seriuoslyiampatrick

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