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Azealia Banks sacrifices chickens in witchcraft rituals. For real.

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Azealia Banks is a musician most famous for the buttfucking insanity she exhibits on social media. She’s been banned by Twitter multiple times, usually for homophobic, racist, or just purely insane rants against other celebrities, news sources, and even the social media service itself. But before we get into the chicken sacrificing business, here’s a short breakdown of her controversial social media past. She has:

– Endorsed Trump as President, retracted said endorsement, and then re-endorsed after his victory.

– Defended Bill Cosby by declaring that his assault accusers were “trying to get some of that pudding pop!”

– Declared that all white men should be institutionalized, and attributing all of human suffering to them.

– Had Twitter beef with a Vice columnist who called out her homophobic behavior. Her response to his accusation: “Do you know that your mother pushed you out of a pussy? and even if I am a homophobe … so wat? i still make more $ than you.. still have an extra hole.. and still own everything.”

– Spat in the face of a fellow airline passenger when he wouldn’t let her disembark ahead of him. Upon being confronted by a Delta flight attendant, she called him homophobic slurs.

– After declaring Delta’s treatment of her to be racist, a fan reminder her that her homophobic behavior is likely the problem. She told said fan that he would be “murdered and stuffed under a truck somewhere” after a failed Grindr date.

– Attacked multiple security guards at multiple nightclubs.

– Called for a racially motivated gang rape of Sarah Palin.

– Made me write an article that could justifiably be misconstrued as a defense of Sarah Palin, who is indescribably awful.

– Called Zayn Malik racial and homophobic slurs because she believed he copied her music video.

– Told a 14-year old actress, Skai Jackson to “grow some hips and start ur menses,” when Jackson called out her homophobia.

– Did I mention she identifies as bisexual? Because that doesn’t really compute, what with all the homophobia.

These, er, shenanigans all pale in comparison to the latest controversy which, if it’s true, might actually offer an explanation as to why she behaves the way she does. You see, if this is true, it might mean that she’s not actually a racist homophobe, she’s just severely mentally ill. Of course, making fun of the mentally ill isn’t right, but it is fun, so fuck her.

This is the last thing some poor chicken saw.

This is the last thing some poor chicken saw.

Anywho, here’s a link to a video of her cleaning up blood and feathers left over from THREE FUCKING YEARS of chicken sacrifices made in the name of witchcraft. I mean, craziness aside, the fact that she leaves that shit out for three years is just gross.

Sooooo, she’s batshit crazy, right? I mean, according to her, “Real witches do real things.” I guess the same could be said for bitches. She’s a bitch. Now to be fair, I’ve never heard any of her music, and in fact, had not even heard of her at all until today (I’m old). But then I fell down a wiki-hole and learned that she’s awful. And now I’m afraid to seek out her music because it’s probably good. Crazy dickheads ALWAYS make the best music.

REGRETFULMORNING Writer
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