Impossible New Year’s Resolutions

|

happy-new-year-1912680_960_720

It’s the dawn of a new year and with that brings endless opportunities to better yourself. One final night of debauchery to send off 2016 to be followed by waking up and striking the reset button of life through committing yourself to a new year’s resolution. Every year should begin with a new goal, right? Well, here is a list of common, yet unattainable, new year’s resolutions.

Drink less alcohol.

girl-1064664_1920

No you won’t.  You know how much fun drinking alcohol is?  Lets just add this to your list of “Nopes.”

Eat healthy.

mexican-food-279892_960_720

Does this look healthy to you?  No.  It looks fucking delicious, though.  I’m not giving that up.

Travel more. 

beach-1867026_960_720

Be honest, you’re broke.  And getting here isn’t cheap.

Spend more time with your family. 

Misunderstanding

I thought you wanted to drink less.  This will not help.

Try yoga.

houmeles-1204653_960_720

Passing out in strange positions is not yoga.

Read more books.

comics-495258_960_720

Well, maybe this one is possible.

Exercise more.

bodybuilder-646482_960_720

Do you really want to listen to this guy give himself a hernia four days a week?

Learn a new language.

english-language-barrier-for-freelancers-300x300

The gibberish spoken after four beers and two shots is not a new language.

Become more organized. 

chaos-227971_960_720

You know that frying pan has been sitting there on the table since last Christmas.

Spend less time on the internet. 

screenshot_20161230-133856

Seriously, that guy knows what he’s talking about.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  • 11224109539634534