As we discussed a few days ago, Thanksgiving sucks. But you know what sucks worse? Black fucking Friday. If there was ever a reason desert countries hate us, it’s this moronic day of shit stirring and ass kicking that somehow became a tradition. These Black Friday Fails are proof of just how bad we can be in this country.
For the record, they shop for Christmas in Canada, but you don’t hear about them busting through the doors of a Target for discounted Legos, do you?
Do yourself a favor this year — stay the fuck in your basement apartment, get an Amazon account, and try to remember why we do this holiday shit every year. The $100 you save on a shitty TV will be $200 by next week. Besides, we all know Walmart TVs are made by North Korean sex slaves — and there’s nothing holly jolly about that.
These Black Friday fails are a sober reminder of our faults. Don’t be a part of the problem this year — stay home.