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Mummy Yachter Discovered Thousands of Miles from Home

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The body of a German sailor has been discovered inside an abandoned vessel, making him the world’s first known mummy yacht enthusiast.

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The mummy discovery came after two fishermen off the coast of the Philippines found an unmanned vessel drifting aimlessly.

The body was discovered near a phone, hunched over, likely waiting for Apple Watch support. He has been identified as 59-year-old Manfred Bajorat.

It was unclear how long Bajorat had been missing, but he’d been gone a while (since 2009!), and no one seemed to miss him. Examiners believe he definitely lasted a few days at sea before the death, and probably a few after.

(Gotta love science.)

The man’s wallet was not found but other valuable items were still there. This ended suspicion of foul play by mermaid, angry narwhal, or Poseidon.

Chances are, Bajorat died from a heart attack, or similar form of natural causes.

Officials said ocean winds and the salty air helped to preserve his body’s mummy. Which means there will likely be a Craigslist post for “Well-ventilated yacht, lightly used” beginning tomorrow.

 

REGRETFULMORNING Writer
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