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Drunk Brazilian Monkey Continues Trend of Knife-Wielding Animals

This has been a banner week for knife-wielding animals. Only this time, it was a monkey. And it was loaded.

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In a Brazilian bar, a capuchin drank some distilled rum right out of people’s glasses, then chased patrons with a foot-long knife.

How the monkey obtained the knife, we’ll never know. But we DO know we’re avoiding any Brazilian bar that isn’t connected to an Olive Garden. At least until Curious George gets a little less curious.

The video below shows the monkey stabbing at the roof of the bar while people film it, instead of running for their goddamn lives.

The monkey was then captured by the local fire department before being released into a nearby environmental reserve. But like most drunks, he didn’t stay down for long.

The lush was taken to a local institute for testing. They’ll determine if the drug-lord-in-training return to the environment or if it will need to live in captivity, talking about 12 steps and its dark past.

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