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Man, unhappy with mugshot, texts selfie to cops

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See that ugly mug up there? That’s Donald “Chip” Pugh. He’s currently wanted by the cops for failing to appear at court to answer for a bunch of vandalism and arson charges. Since this is 2016, the cops posted his mugshot on their Facebook page to try and get his fire-setting ass into custody. The thing is, that’s hardly the most flattering photo in the world (mugshots so rarely are, Nick Nolte notwithstanding), and Pugh himself felt it was his duty to provide the cops with something more indicative of his look.

Now we know how all those fires started.

Now we know how all those fires started.

You’ll notice that little grey text box above the photo. That’s because Pugh took a selfie and texted it to the cops. We can now add “misuse of grammar” and “contributing to selfie-culture” to Pugh’s list of charges, as well as a potential fine for texting while driving. The cops responded by posting Pugh’s preferred mugshot, complete with attached text message, to their Facebook page. They added the caption: “We thank (Pugh) for being helpful, but now we would appreciate it if he would come speak to us at the (police station) about his charges.” As of the time of this writing, Pugh is still at large and as handsome as ever. I’m sure the cops will eventually see fit to track his phone and locate him, but they’re probably just hoping he’ll show up at the police station with a list of helpful crime-fighting tips.

"I heard the police station has access to a lot of great cleaning materials."

“I heard the police station has access to a lot of great stain removers.”

And you know what? While we’re at it, let’s get that famous Nick Nolte mugshot up there for shits and gigs.

Another 48 hours ... In the drunk tank.

Another 48 hours … In the drunk tank.