Bengals Fans are Number One

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Is it better to be pissed off, or pissed on? Well, during the Bengals’ last-minute loss to the Steelers on Sunday “” Cincinnati’s eighth-straight postseason loss “” a Bengals fan urinated on another fan, police told the Cincinnati Enquirer.

Bengals, urinate, urine, assault, pee, Steelers, NFL

On Tinder, “ur a 4.” At the Bengals game, urinate.

Martin Cooke, 33, was collared by cops after he allegedly punched and peed on the man sitting in front of him. Cooke, of Kentucky, is facing assault and disorderly conduct charges and is due in court Monday.

In a game filled with cheap shots and dirty play, no one could have guessed the worst penalties of all would have come from the seats. But, in addition to weak bladders, the Cincy faithful also celebrated the end of a good season by:

  • Arrests for underage drinking
  • Assault due to drinking
  • Assault with a drink

(One good takeaway from the game is that Johnny Manziel had nothing to do with the bad behavior. But check back on that story when Andy Dalton goes down with another injury.)

Sadly, this isn’t an isolated incident. But it’s worth noting that Obama’s weapons proposal seems to be working, since urine seems to be the new bullet. And when bullets aren’t enough, some enterprising sorts are looking to — ahem — stronger weapons of mass destruction when confronting authority.

REGRETFULMORNING Writer
REGRETFULMORNING Writer
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