Iceman is Totally Gay and it’s Totally Cool

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It’s official: one of the founding members of the X-Men, Iceman, is canonically a homosexual. And while this is a really cool move for diversity and inclusivity, I’d be lying if I said I was surprised. I mean, it’s Iceman. He’s definitely the Lance Bass of the X-Men.

I knew Lance Bass was gay all the way back in his Macarena days.

I knew Lance Bass was gay all the way back in his Macarena days.

Thematically, X-Men has always been a positive representation of diversity. Even in its early stages, before explicitly including relevant concepts like homosexuality, the comics were always about taking pride in one’s unique traits and using them as a force for good.

The other gay Iceman

The other gay Iceman

Apparently, Jean Grey didn’t get that memo, as she is the one responsible for outing Iceman … by using her psychic abilities to look inside his brain and let him know that all of the cock contained within isn’t just for decoration. And I think we can presume that Iceman knows a think or two about decoration.

That's some Phoenix shit right there, lady.

That’s some Phoenix shit right there, lady.

Despite being far from the first X-Man to live an alternative lifestyle, Iceman’s homosexuality is definitely an important development, as evidenced by a conversation I had today with an acquaintance. Let’s call him “Idiot”.

Idiot: Hey Dan!
Me: Oh my god stop talking to me.
Idiot: Did you hear about Iceman?
Me: What the fuck kind of question is that? OF COURSE I HEARD ABOUT ICEMAN.
Idiot: That’s so stupid they made him gay.
Me: Why? He still shoots ice at Magneto.
Idiot: Yeah, but it’s unnecessary.
Me: Are you still talking?

The author exercised a mutant level of restraint not to make an “Iceman Cummeth” joke. He’ll still probably do so on Twitter.

REGRETFULMORNING Writer
REGRETFULMORNING Writer
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