Petition for Audio-Descriptive Version of Netflix’s ‘Daredevil’ an Unecessary Success!

||

image

By all accounts, Netflix’s Daredevil is a hit. The combination of humor, bone-breaking violence, and Vincent D’onofrio has resulted in nothing short of rave reviews … and dissent amongst bored social justice warriors hell bent on giving themselves a “progress boner”.

This used to be called a "pound sign" now it's a "force for justice"!

This used to be called a “pound sign” now it’s a “force for justice”!

A petition has been drafted urging Netflix to provide an “audio-descriptive” version of Daredevil so that it may be enjoyed by the blind community, who may take special interest in a show about a sightless superhero. This is all well and good, I guess, but the hacktivists behind the petition are not considering more than a few things:

– Most shows on Netflix don’t have an audio-descriptive version. Singling out Daredevil is like requesting that Spotify offer text descriptions of Beethoven – and ONLY Beethoven – for deaf Spotify users.

– Blind folk can’t read comic books. They just can’t. And while I feel for the small group of hardcore Daredevil readers who subsequently lost their vision and now can’t watch the show, it’s a pretty tall order to ask Netflix to engage in an expensive endeavor for a very small group of people.

– Do blind people even subscribe to Netflix, generally? I think not.

– Daredevil’s blindness is a gimmick. It doesn’t exist as a tool for inclusivity on behalf of a special interest group, it exists because a writer thought it was neat.

– An audio descriptive version of a show like Daredevil would suck anyway.

To quote the creator of the petition: “Doesn’t the blind community deserve the same right to enjoy Netflix that everyone else does?”

No. Because Netflix is a product, not a right. That being said, to the roughly 10 people who would really dig on an audio-descriptive version of Daredevil, I sincerely hope you get it. You do deserve to enjoy it just as much as anyone else. And before any readers decide to berate me for being such a dick about it, I ask you do three things:
1. Investigate the numbers and see how many blind folk actually take advantage of the audio version.
2. Sign my petition to have Netflix offer a version of Wild¬†Things where Denise Richards’ boobs are replaced with penises so that women and homosexuals can enjoy the threesome scene.
3. Sign my other petition to have Netflix offer a version of Wild Things where Kevin Bacon’s penis is replaced with breasts so that men and homosexuals can enjoy the shower scene.

Your constitutional right.

Your constitutional right.

(Note: since the time of drafting this article, the petition proved to be a success and Netflix will indeed offer an audio version of Daredevil, which is definitely a good thing, even if it’s still pretty stupid)

Please help my cause by following me on Twitter and hashtagging #TitsAndDicksOnTheFlix.

REGRETFULMORNING Writer
REGRETFULMORNING Writer
  • More From Us