Jail Unhappy with “Orange is the New Black”

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ORANGE

Due to the success and popularity of Orange is the New Black, the inmates at one Michigan jail have been force to switch their garb from orange jumpsuits to these black and white striped ones:

uniforms

…which actually look incredibly retro and bad-ass (except for on the guys who are wearing socks with their sandals, who suck and totally deserve to be in jail just for their poor footwear choices).

The Netflix series has apparently made the traditional orange attire too cool.  Saginaw County Sheriff William Federspiel stated:

“When the lines get blurred between the culture outside the jail and the culture within the jail, I have to do something to redefine those boundaries because they’ve been blurred far too often in public culture,”

…because apparently the purpose of jail is to intentionally dehumanize people (remember, we’re talking about jail–not prison).

Yet if the precedent has been set for the institutions to downright avoid things that are seen as cool, perhaps Hollywood could use its power of influence for good in an attempt at total reform. Here’s a few ideas off of the top of my head for new series that could improve life for the imprisoned: Police Brutality is the New Warped Tour Mosh Pit, Prison Rape is the New Beer Pong, and, I dunno, Solitary Confinement is the New Angry Birds.

 

Matt Pass is a standup comedian and writer who can be found on Twitter @mattpasscomedy. He had a court mandated drug test in a few weeks, so here’s hoping he doesn’t go to jail!

REGRETFULMORNING Writer
REGRETFULMORNING Writer
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