magnifier menu chevron-left chevron-right chevron-up comment chevron-up chat_bubble_outline2 share thumbs-up thumbs-down chevron-down

3 Movie Sequels That Ignore The Original

||

Short of instinctually grabbing my cell phone and activating the camera with a muscle-memorialized swipe of the thumb at even the slightest indication of an impending street fight, I wouldn’t consider myself a filmmaker. Still, it doesn’t take a Spielberg to know that in order to make a sequel, you should probably watch the original movie first. Or maybe you shouldn’t. It certainly worked out okay for these movies. Oh, and SPOILER ALERT.

AMERICAN PSYCHO 2

Shatner is in this one. Not a joke.

Shatner is in this one. Not a joke.

In the original AMERICAN PSYCHO Patrick Bateman is a high-powered Wall Street business man by day and a serial killer with an insatiable blood lust by night. Or is he? In the final act of Mary Harron’s wonderfully putrid adaptation of Bret Easton Ellis’ deranged novel, our protagonist finds himself involved in a series of increasingly improbably events. From an ATM machine explicitly demanding that he feed it a cat, to a single bullet causing a squad of police cars to explode like they were built by Michael Bay, Bateman begins to find himself overwhelmed and confesses to his lawyer who laughs at his assertion of guilt. Did Bateman commit all these crimes? We don’t know. We’re not supposed to know. The ambiguity is the entire point of the movie. Is entertaining sadistic thoughts as morally reprehensible as committing the actual crime? Is The Texas Chainsaw Massacre as good a workout video as P-90X? Is there a debit surcharge on cats?
The direct-to-video sequel, lovingly titled AMERICAN PSYCHO 2: ALL AMERICAN GIRL, our new killer(played by Mila Kunis with about as much gravitas as, well, Mila Kunis), gained a desire for slaughter as result of having survived an attack from world renowned serial killer, Patrick Bateman. Yes, that Patrick Bateman. The one who definitely is a serial killer who feeds cats to ATM machines. It should also be noted that the sequel is directed by Morgan Freeman. No, a different one.

ROCKY BALBOA

Each ab ripple represents 5 years of age

Each ab ripple represents 5 years of age

Philadelphia’s favorite underdog and poster child for c-sections, Rocky Balboa, could never be accused of being smart. Hell, he doesn’t even have the common sense to perform the most basic of boxing skills: not getting hit in the damn face. In ROCKY V Stallone plays the titular character with a marked physical and speech affectation to portray the brain damage he received from, well, getting hit in the damn face. His boxing license is revoked as a result of his injuries and he’s forced out of his favorite sport, much to the glee of his equally slow-witted wife, Adrian.
In the sixth, and admittedly awesome, entry to the series, Rocky delivers an impassioned speech, sans slurring, to the King of Boxing (boxing is a monarchy, right?) that, along with his clean medical record, allows him to regain his license and fight someone 30 years his junior because safety. Clean medical record? As in “the brain healed itself against all accepted scientific fact” clean? No mention of his brain damage is made and once again Rocky is given the chance to prove that two weeks of training combined with “wanting it” results in unstoppable boxing prowess, even in your sixties.

INDIANA JONES AND THE TEMPLE OF DOOM

Like a young Sean Connery!

Like a young Sean Connery!

I don’t care what anyone says. This is my favorite Indiana Jones movie, hands down. That doesn’t mean it makes a lick of sense. What a many folks don’t know is that TEMPLE is a prequel to RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK, taking place a year prior. If we remember back (ahead) to RAIDERS the story behind the action is one of science versus faith. Indy is a man of science who refuses to believe in anything magical until he sees it, and as it stands, he’s never seen it. In fact, the climactic scene in which the Ark of the Covenant is opened would have been the death of Indiana Jones had he not taken a leap of faith and decided to close his eyes, knowing what the “legends” say would happen if he’d seen the Ark’s contents(hint: you melt!). It’s a beautiful character arc (with a “c”), and an iconic story line. It’s too bad that about a year ago, Indy witnessed, fell victim to, and even utilized magic. A lot. Like, a LOT a lot.
In TEMPLE, Indy is given a potion that makes him a mindless slave. Magic. The spell can be broken only by fire. Sounds like magic. A voodoo doll is poked and prodded and burned and Indy feels it. That’s black magic (still magic). Indy witnesses a man getting his heart manually ripped from his chest, staying alive as he is lowered into a lava pit, while his removed heart bursts into flames, exactly the way magic would have it happen. How does Indy defeat the villain? By reciting a spell that causes magic rocks (magic!) to become red hot in the hands of the villain, causing him to fall into a river full of alligators. I’m sure science can explain all of these things, but it hasn’t yet, so until then…MAGIC!

As I said, I’m no Spielberg, but – wait! INDIANA JONES AND THE TEMPLE OF DOOM is directed by Spielberg! Forget everything I just said and make your damn sequel however you please.

 

Follow the author on Twitter @DanScully

 

REGRETFULMORNING Writer
  • More From Us