Whenever I think of activism, I immediately picture a bunch of smelly hippies who live out of a van, and want you to stop eating meat. It used to make me almost cringe when I’d hear the words “peaceful protest”. Not anymore though. Moira Johnston is protesting the way you should. By taking her top off.
A suburban Philly native, Johnston, 30, became an advocate for mammarian freedom last summer after getting booted from a New York City yoga class for removing her shirt. All she wanted was to be as comfortable as the bare-chested men on the mats. And besides, New York law doesn’t require women to cover their breasts. Peeved by society’s ignorance of the law, Johnston spent the next few months educating the public by wandering New York sans coverage – shopping in Whole Foods, reading in Union Square, swaying on the subway. She got arrested, once, when a mom complained to cops that Johnston’s nude boobs endangered the children who saw them. But the charges were dropped, and Johnston stayed half-naked until the leaves turned.
You know who’s going to fuck this up for everyone? Suburban soccer moms. Seriously, fuck you. These women are only upset that they didn’t hit the treadmill after their third kid, making them unappealing. And since no one wants to see their tits, they will cause a fuss so that we’ll never get to see a couple of topless 19-year-olds skateboarding.
The anti nudity movement broads, with sticks up their asses, need to be crushed – and we can do that together. One top at a time.
PS – I’ve been asked to display her topless photos for science. You can view them on the next page.