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This Kid Doesn’t Have A Fighting Chance

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worst dad ever

And in parenting news this week we’ve got a candidate for father of the year. This good citizen notices an Amazon package on a doorstep while taking his toddler for a walk. What happens next is something you pretty much only see on TV. Part of me wants to believe he did this in hopes of getting caught so that his old lady wouldn’t make him take the kid out for walks anymore.

An Amazon package lasted 23 minutes at our Seattle home on April 5th, 2013 before Washington’s Father of the Year strolled up our block, noticed it sitting helplessly on the front doorstep, and casually unleashed his toddler from the stroller to retrieve the box. The kid hobbles to the front door, grabs it, and brings it back to Dad. They exit the crime scene doing a sweet stroller wheelie and a stolen box with dog vitamins tucked underneath it.

If you live in Seattle and recognize this douche bag, do the right thing. Blackmail him for half the loot.

REGRETFULMORNING Writer
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