Regretful Morning

You Can Track Airplanes In Real Time, Try My Game If You’re Bored

Posted January 22nd, 2013 at 11:00 am by

Recently I discovered a website that lets you track all planes that use ADS-B tracking technology.  Needless to say, it has provided me with hours of entertainment.  I’ve even developed my own little game, and I am sure that it will offer hours of entertainment for stoners and forever aloners across the globe.  Before you play my game, I need to let you know that you need a fairly good imagination.  You also need to get in the zone.  Crying kids and barking dogs will mess this up, so toss on some headphones and listen to some chillstep.

Easy Mode:

Easy mode is basically just like running around a game in training mode.  People who enjoy the use of herbal medications will appreciate this the most.  Simply pick planes at random, and pretend like you’re inside the aircraft itself, or watching over the plane like a super intelligent being.  You can make friends with the passengers in your head, and give them hugs as they land.  It’s very satisfying when a plane from New York to LA lands safely.  Yes, I was high as fuck when I made this game, so this probably sounds silly right now.  It isn’t though.

Intermediate Mode:

Select a plane on the grid.  Now try to come up with where they departed from and where they will land.  You can click on the plane itself, and that information will be available to you on the left hand side.  You can also see what kind of plane it is, which is almost a game in itself.  Once you get a feel for how the map works, you can see that there is a specific set of flight patterns.  For example, planes from Dallas to Philly all take the same path.

Nightmare Mode:

Your airplane is under attack by alien forces.   There are three objectives you can complete in nightmare mode.  Once you click on a plane, you can only give yourself one minute to complete an objective.  Since you’re probably high, just use the clock on your computer, we won’t be sticklers to the last second.

  • You must find emergency airports to land at before the UFO can engage your plane and destroy it.  If you can not find a commercial airport within 50 miles of your flight, little Timmy dies.  His whole life was ahead of him.  Right now he’s playing on his dad’s iPad.  Full of hopes and dreams.  Don’t let those alien bastards take that away.
  • You must find a military installation within 200 miles of your current vector that has the ability to scramble jets and/or use SAM missiles.  You are allowed to use Wikipedia and Google.
  • Take over the plane and make noises with your mouth as you dodge and evade laser projectiles that are being hurled at you.  Once you safely land the plane pretend that a young cheerleader from Florida falls in love with you for being so fucking manly and alpha.  Now go to Red Tube, click categories, click big boobs, pick a movie and pretend you’re drilling the young and appreciative damsel.

Clean yourself up and take a nap.  You win at life.

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