Now that New Years is over, everyone is trying to get in shape. Sadly, some didn’t even make it past last Friday. I know this because 24 Hour Fitness was super packed, and now there are about half as many cars out front. If you’re one of those fatties who gave up, I’m here to motivate. Take a look at these people, and then imagine them naked. That’s all you’re going to get if you keep fapping and eating Fritos all year. I’m only talking to dudes right now btw. If you’re a chick with a few extra pounds and a low self-esteem, email me.
Dear Hollywood, I get it. I really do. We’re all trying to make a buck, as is our right. As is your right. And Hanksdamnit, you are so very… Read MoreRead more
After you’ve seen a good deal of haunted houses, they kind of stop being scary. We may have found one in Mount Pleasant, Wisconsin that is… Read MoreRead more
My hair is grey but my balls are shaved. There are screw ups, there are colossal f*ck ups, and there blunders so big they’re off the scale. This… Read MoreRead more