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Germany Bans The Boinking Of Barnyard Animals

Feed me hay, not penis

A collective sigh of relief rose out of the animal community in Germany today as bestiality laws were reinstated.

The country’s parliament is due to debate changes to the national Animal Protection Code this week, with the agricultural committee of the Bundestag pledging fines of £20,000 for a first offense.

This couldn’t have come soon enough for our furry friends. While the issue of bestiality dropped off the statute books as a crime in 1969, the recent widespread of “pimping” farm animals has brought it back into the light.

Now, with the help of the internet, you can pretty much pay for some goat sex whenever you want.  Sadly, politicians are already seeing some resistance from ZETA.

But pro-zoophilia campaign group ZETA — Zoophiles Commitment to Tolerance and Enlightenment — vowed to challenge any ban on bestiality. Chairman Michael Kiok said: “Mere concepts of morality have no business being law.”

Michael Kiok, please fuck off. An animal can’t tell you if it wants a cock in it’s ass. A prostitute can. Use your head you sick fuck. There are 3.5 billion women in this world, all whom have three fuckable holes. If you play your cards right you can almost always get two out of three. That’s 7 billion holes for your penis, and you’d still rather pork a goat.