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My name is Jason and I’m an addict.  I don’t mean alcohol, pain pills, crack-cocaine, or meth.  What I’m addicted to makes those things look like child’s play.  This concoction was created by the gods when they used unicorn semen and the dust of crushed fairies combined with hazelnuts and turned it into something that looks like chocolate peanut butter.  It can’t be fucked with.