Bars and restaurants do what they can to get people inside of their establishments. The most basic of these methods is the old chalkboard sign. Here are a few of them that would win my business for the simple fact that they gave me a chuckle. If I ran a pub I would write something like “free handjob after 8th drink.” By the time people finish their 8th drink they will have hopefully passed out or forgot about the sign. But if they haven’t, I’d hire some homeless chicks to jerk dudes off in the alley. If you take this idea please give me credit.