50 year old Joseph Wilson just unlocked a massive achievement. This one is called “straight up fuckin’ loser for life.” We’re giving this award to Joe because he just racked up his 100th arrest on Thursday.
He didn’t make it easy though. Joe bailed out of a department store with underwear and socks under his coat, then jumped into his buddy’s ride with a rent-a-cop on his tail. His friend didn’t drive away though, so Mr. Wilson hopped out the other side of the minivan and lead the security officer on a foot chase.
He finally lost his pursuer and decided to take a break behind a Wendy’s dumpster. This is when police showed up. But like a good troll, Joseph simply said he was cooling off from a jog. Unfortunately, they didn’t buy his little story, and he finally admitted he did it because of “hard times.”
The merchandise Wilson is accused of stealing was worth $174. Prior to Thursday, Wilson had a record that included 37 felony arrests, 47 misdemeanors and 15 others. In all, he’s been convicted in 35 of those incidents.
Fist bump on your achievement bro. Keep it real, Florida.