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The biggest dating profile fail you will see this week

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I always encourage you guys to send in the epic failures that you find on dating sites, for this very reason.  Prepare to have your mind blown with this girl’s stupidity.

At first I was like

 

I’m just going to copy and paste because it will take me too long to make fun of her.

I MAY COME OFF B*TCHY BY WRITING THIS BUT I’M NOT A B*TCH. I AM ACTUALLY VERY DOWN TO EARTH AND EASY GOING. I DO HOWEVER HAVE GOALS AND I KNOW WHAT I WANT OUT OF MY MAN AND OUT OF LIFE IN GENERAL. I’M NOT SUPER FISCAL AND DON’T NEED A MAN TO TAKE CARE OF ME. LIKE IT STATES ABOVE I AM A LEO SO THAT MEANS I TEND TO BE DRAWN TO MEN WHO CAN ME MY BEST FRIEND AS WELL AS MY DEEPEST LOVER. IF I DON’T FEEL YOU AND I WOULD MESH WELL BECAUSE OF DIFFERENCES IN OPINION AND PERSONALITY I WONT WASTE MY TIME OR YOURS TO TAKE IT ANY FURTHER.

I AM A VERY OPEN PERSON AND REALLY HAVE NOTHING TO HIDE. I’M BIG ON HONESTY AND IF YOU CAN’T PROVIDE THAT DON’T WASTE MY TIME. LIARS ARE NOT ATTRACTIVE. SO IF YOUR MARRIED, CHEATING ON YOUR GF OR JUST TRYING TO SMASH F*CK YOU IN ADVANCE. =]

I AM NOT ON HERE FOR FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS OR ANYTHING ALONG THOSE LINES…AND TO CLARIFY ABOUT THE PICTURES FOR THE SLOWER INDIVIDUALS..THE PICTURES I HAVE UP I THINK THEY ARE TASTEFULLY DONE. JUST BECAUSE I AM COMFY WITH MY BODY AND SHOW IT DOESN’T MEAN I’M A SLUT. IT JUST MEANS I HAVE CONFIDENCE AND AM FAR FROM INSECURE. I TAKE PICTURES THAT LOOK GOOD AND ITS NOT MY FAULT THAT I HAVE THE “PLAY BOY BUNNY” LOOK LOL (IF YOU DIDN’T GET I WAS JOKING ABOUT THAT YOU NEED LOOSEN UP AND LEARN HOW TO LAUGH A LITTLE)

And then I was like….

I’M A PROUD PARENT… I LOVE MY BOYZ WITH ALL MY HEART. PEOPLE TEND TO JUDGE ME BASED ON THE FACT I HAVE CHILDREN. I DON’T REALLY CARE. IF YOU ARE DISRESPECTFUL ABOUT IT JUST SHOWS HOW IMMATURE YOU REALLY ARE. I AM NOT LOOKING FOR A REPLACEMENT DAD FOR MY KIDS. THEY ALREADY HAVE ONE. SO YOU ARE CLEARLY MISTAKEN TO THINK I’D WANT MY PARTNER TO BE THAT FOR THEM. HOWEVER I DO EXPECT FOR THE PERSON I END UP WITH TO BE RESPECTFUL TOWARDS THEM AND TREAT THEM CORRECTLY. IF YOUR NOT GOOD WITH KIDS I’M PROBABLY NOT THE ONE FOR YOU.

I’M CURRENTLY IN COLLEGE… PLANNING ON GETTING A DEGREE IN NURSING…I STILL HAVE A LOT OF SCHOOL WORK LEFT BUT I AM A VERY DETERMINED INDIVIDUAL AND WILL MAKE MY GOAL A REALITY NO MATTER WHAT I HAVE TO SACRIFICE. I’M WELL EDUCATED AND I’M DEFIANTLY NOT YOUR AVERAGE FEMALE. FAR FROM DUMB AND FIND IT EXTREMELY ANNOYING WHEN PEOPLE TREAT ME AS IF I AM.

I DON’T SMOKE OR DRINK. NOW THIS DOES NOT MEAN THAT I DON’T KNOW HOW TO HAVE FUN. IF YOUR ONLY “FUN” WHEN DRINKING IT JUST MEANS THAT YOU ARE PROBABLY A VERY LAME INDIVIDUAL WITH LITTLE TO NO PERSONALITY.

BE SURE TO HIT ME UP IF I LEFT OUT SOMETHING YOU’D LIKE TO KNOW…

I’M SORRY IF THIS SCARED YOU. MAYBE YOU SHOULDN’T BE SUCH A WEENIE.

IF YOUR NOT A WEENIE ADD ME ON FB

But then I was like….

So yea, naturally I’m going to message her immediately.  Any chick who will spread eagle in one pic, and upload an image next to her baby in the next, is definitely DTF.  Oh, and if you want me to cough up her url then F off.  You can find your own tore up slut to hit on.  It took me months of trolling to find this, and I can’t just give it away.  *willing to accept paypal offers*

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