Remember in that movie “The Sandlot” where the fat little kid pretended to drown so that he could get CPR from the hot lifeguard? I’m thinking one of you should try that this summer. But instead of just getting CPR, try to kick it up a notch. Tell one of your buddies to observe and have him say something like “My friend has a medical condition, he breathes through his penis, CPR won’t save him, pull his shorts down!”
I’m sure if you guys really sell it, you might have some fun. That, or a urethra full of air and a lifetime ban at your favorite pool.