For some reason I was checking out ridiculously creepy GIFs last night, and the result was me not being able to sleep. Finally I manned up and snorted half of an Ambien which totally knocked me out. But then I had a dream of a dude who goes around killing little kids. Then this one kid was going to stop him because he could read minds, but the bad guy knew he could, so he started projecting all these false images of the kids that he killed. Damn, I almost need a fresh pair of shorts just telling the story. Anyway, good luck sleeping tonight, bitches.
Dear Hollywood, I get it. I really do. We’re all trying to make a buck, as is our right. As is your right. And Hanksdamnit, you are so very… Read MoreRead more
After you’ve seen a good deal of haunted houses, they kind of stop being scary. We may have found one in Mount Pleasant, Wisconsin that is… Read MoreRead more
My hair is grey but my balls are shaved. There are screw ups, there are colossal f*ck ups, and there blunders so big they’re off the scale. This… Read MoreRead more