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I banged my stepsister, what now?

A lot of us have divorced parents.  Out of that lot, a ton will remarry.  A few of those remarriages will bring some extra sibling baggage to the table.  Out of those few, some will be a hot sister.  This article is for those of you who accidentally placed your penis inside said sister.

There are a few different roads you can take when you hit this little speed bump in this erection we call life.  Let’s take a look at a few.

Blackmail

If your stepsister is gross, or she’s got a big mouth, you’re going to want to stop the fire from spreading, immediately.  I mean, even if she’s hot, you don’t want people to know that you pounded nails into one of your family members.  The smart thing to do is run a couple of threats by her.  Sound convincing.  Make it seem like if she ever tells anyone, she will never get to use the car again, will never get a BF, etc.

Pretend It Didn’t Happen

It wasn’t me.  If alcohol was involved, you can almost always use it as an excuse.  Drop a few lines like “man how did we get home last night?”  or  “I can’t even remember the party, was it fun?”  She’ll start to feel like a monster for taking advantage of you and bottle all of those emotions up until she starts seeing a shrink 15 years down the road.  You’ll be long gone by then though, so it’s cool.

Be Mature and Claim Responsibility

I don’t really like this option, but it’s good if you have a sensitive stepsister.  Also, while using lines like “I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize how wasted we were” will take some of the heat off of her, it also opens the door for her to run her mouth and say something to her friends like “My step bro totally took advantage of me and ended up firing a massive helping of liquid protein down my throat, lol.”  This will make her hot friends avoid you.  You don’t want that.

Realize It Felt Great and Try To Make It A Habit

Listen, we’re all adults here.  A stepsister isn’t a blood relative and if she’s DTF and doesn’t feel ashamed afterward, then I don’t really see what the problem is.  Try to give her a few subtle touches on the backside the next time you walk by.  If you get a smile, and not a right hook, there’s a good chance she’s up for round two.

Conclusion: If you have a hot stepsister go ahead and try to hit it.  Just be prepared for the consequences that may follow, and always keep a solid exit strat on hand.