A lot of panties got ruffled after I wrote “4 Reasons Being An Internet Slut Isn’t As Cool As You Think.” For some reason, a lot of people *cough girls who won’t stop emailing me* saw it as a way for us to attack females who enjoy getting banged a lot. This simply isn’t true. We have embraced and commended sluts on their behavior since day one. The problem is, most of you noobs who got offended can’t read, so I’ll go ahead and make some large bullet points, with easy words.
We shouldn’t judge sluts because…
They Turn Frowns Upside Down
Let’s say your buddy just got dumped. The first thing that a good friend says is “Let’s get him drunk and laid.” Who do you think is going to bust him out of his funk? I’ll tell you who it won’t be: The girl looking for “something real.” No, the slump buster is just waiting for you to tell a funny joke, buy her a lemon drop, and pretend like you don’t care that she smells of cigarettes. The bar slut is a goddess.
Porn
I don’t having anything clever to say, so here is a picture of Shyla Stylez.
Sometimes You Don’t Wanna Wait Three Dates For A Piece Of Ass
The standard panty dropping math = 3 dates. I’ve showed you this equation before, but here is a refresher course. If a date = $50, then 3 dates = $150. That’s a lot of time and money that I don’t have, just to release a load of boner brew.
They Get Enough Shit From Their Own Gender
Other girls hate sluts. It isn’t because they care about the woman’s movement, or the bond two people should share before becoming intimate. It comes down to attention. All girls want it, sluts get it.
They’ll Teach You How To Do Something Cool Between The Sheets
A few years ago I had a two hundred pound Orca piled up in my bed. I could tell I needed to step it up because it felt like a hotdog down a hallway. I saw her eyeballing the flashlight on my desk, so I’m like “please be thinking what I’m thinking.” She gave me the nod, the rest is history. Yes, I stuffed an entire maglight into her love hole, and she looked like an epileptic having seizure while I went to work. Then when she unleashed her woman load, the light came out like a projectile dart. Since that night, I have tried to ram my silver maglight into many other vaginas (don’t worry I washed it), only to be rejected beyond belief. Do you see what I’m getting at? Sluts let you live the dream.
Conclusion: Sluts serve an important role in society, and they’re also responsible for a lot of funny stuff we write about (see exhibit A). So next time you think about using the word “slut” as a derogatory term, please think about how much they do for mankind.
January 17, 2011
#1
Moral of the story, sometimes you just need a slut.
January 18, 2011
#2
A flashlight?? Kudos to you, sir.
January 18, 2011
#3
It’s true. bitches get so jealous when other girls are dancing on the bar
January 19, 2011
#4
They do tend to give the best head!
January 19, 2011
#5
lol, i love sluts, everyone does, just most of em’ feel hard to admit they do
January 19, 2011
#6
I think men have abused the word slut for years to make women feel inferior, when deep down they (we) love sluts more than we care to admit. I personally will always treat sluts the best. Some girls just want your money, others just want you to cuddle and never give you head. While Sluts are just like men, they just want to do it. To have fun and experiment, so if you can’t enjoy life or sex then maybe you should stay @ home with your prude wife and never talk bad about another frisky lady again!
P.S I wish we could create new words, SLUT, COUGAR AND MILF just kill all sexual energy once the word is used, atleast for me…. PEACE TO ALL THE FRISKY LADIES OUT HERE!
January 19, 2011
#7
The slut is truly a remarkable creature. By introducing the Slut into a conservative sector of society it slowly releases the sexual tension felt by all genders within that community. Introducing more Sluts will, of course, speed up the process. Yet, one must use cation when planning to meddle with the delicate balance of the Slut Per Capita Index (SPCI pronounced “Spicy”). Entire populations can be destroyed or rendered useless with the presence of too many Sluts. Citizens surrounded by Sluts are subject to multiple encounters with the same Slut, thus increasing the tension that the Slut was originally proposed to decrease. In some rare cases, when the SPCI is above 90, citizens can constantly be in the company of Sluts without fear of being reintroduced to past Sluts. These once productive citizens are rendered useless because they become locked in a state of binge drinking and sexual promiscuity. This situation can only be remedied if the citizen can somehow manage to deny themselves the pure ecstasy of this lifestyle long enough to finally graduate. A safe SPCI is around 50, or 1 Slut per every 5 able-bodied habitants (when alcohol is involved this increases the number of Sluts to about 3 for every 5 drunk habitants).
Exerpt from “The Creatures of Society: Understanding the Pivotal Role of Sluts, Douche-Bags, and Shit Heads”
–Sir Walter Dinsdale
January 19, 2011
#8
Who the hell is the LSU chick?
January 19, 2011
#9
Wikpedia says:
“Although the ultimate origin of “slut” is unknown, it first appeared in Middle English in 1402 as slutte, with the meaning “a dirty, untidy, or slovenly woman.” Even earlier, Geoffrey Chaucer used the word sluttish (c.1386) to describe a slovenly man; however, later uses appear almost exclusively associated with women. (Of course all men are sluts, hence the redundancy.) The modern sense of “a sexually promiscuous woman” dates to at least 1450.
Another early meaning was “kitchen maid or drudge” (c. 1450), a meaning retained as late as the 18th century, when hard knots of dough found in bread were referred to as “slut’s pennies.” A notable example of this use is Samuel Pepys’s diary description of his servant girl as “an admirable slut” who “pleases us mightily, doing more service than both the others and deserves wages better” (February 1664). In the 19th century, the word was used as a euphemism in place of “bitch” in the sense of a female dog.” In current modern times, both words are applied commonly towards worthy women.
Guys! I think the day has come to give honour to the sluts of the world and to dignify the very term. Long live the sluts!!!
January 19, 2011
#10
Great post guys loved it.
January 19, 2011
#11
Sexy bitches………..
February 6, 2011
#12
A “Slut” is just a woman that doesn’t hold back on her desires to succomb to societies Norms. From my experience every woman wants to fuck, but is scared of the label slut. You gotta love the girls that are real.