We’ve all been there. You wait all day for your package to arrive, then you take a 5 minute dump, only to come back and find a cute little note on your door explaining how they knocked, but no one was home. Then they tell you that they will try another two times before leaving your package at the pick up office. If you have to pitch a tent on your doorstep to intercept that package, do it. The UPS pick up place is scarier than the Tijuana border crossing.