Bottoms up, clothes off

Name: Winter
Age (at the time): 22

Let me start by saying, I don’t drink. Ever. I didn’t even have a single drink on my 21st birthday. I found out in high school me and alcohol don’t mix, and I have no shut off switch, and I drink until I can’t drink anymore. However, last night my best friend was in town, and wanted to go out drinking. I figured I’d be economical and mix up some drinks at home first, then go out and dance and not have anymore.
So, we were out of juice, and I just mixed various flavors of vodka me and my husband have in our bar for when guests come over. It’s a short walk to the bars, so I leave right after I drank the first drinks. I’m already drunk when I arrive (10 minute walk), and my friend greets me with a hug and a drink. I figure “why not?”. Bad idea, I proceed to have 2 more and then slam back the 2 drinks my friend and her other friend weren’t going to finish before heading to the next bar (so if I broke it down, I probably had around 12-15 shots of vodka in under a half hour, in a body that hasn’t had a drop of alcohol in it in years, I’m 5’6″ and only weigh 110lbs). Right after I drank the drink my friend got me when I first arrived, I’d texted my husband to let him know I’d probably need him to walk me home for my own safety.

After that, such events go down: puke begins involuntarily coming out of my mouth, so I run to the bathroom with puke running down my face and onto my shirt. I threw up more than I think I had in my stomach in the first place in the bar bathroom sink (there was a huge line for the toilets). I am far beyond drunk at this point, I call my husband begging him to come down now, and walk outside and sit on the curb. In the 5 minutes before he gets there, the bouncer hails a cab for me, which I tried to explain I didn’t need, but he insisted I did. I’m drunkenly arguing with the bouncer about why I don’t need a cab when my husband shows up. The involuntary puking starts again, and I black out. My husband fills me in this morning on our lovely walk home:

I refuse to get up off the curb, and proceed to lay down in a parking spot instead and take of my coat, hat and gloves in freezing weather.  Snow flurries start, and he grabs the stuff I took off, drags me up and forces me to walk at least across the street. I’m still puking and can barely stand up straight. I keep laying back down, so finally he leaves me on a park bench, passed out cold, to go get the car. I can’t tell you why or how, but I must’ve gotten up and wandered off in that few minute window of time. He arrived back, and cannot find me. He searches for 15 minutes before he finds me curled up in a bush, in a t shirt and jeans, with snow accumulating on me. He gets me in the car, drives the 2 blocks home, strips me down because my clothes are soaking wet and covered in puke, and puts me in the bathroom over the toilet with a heavy blanket wrapped around me.

I mustve crawled back in bed at some point, because that’s where I woke up. I have had the worst hangover of all time today, and from this point on, I am not making any more exceptions…..never again will I drink. I probably had alcohol poisoning and hypothermia last night, and thankfully I eat very healthy and am in good shape, or it could’ve been a lot worse.
And even though he’s my husband, and we’ve been together since high school, I still feel beyond embarrassed he had to see me like that.

Dear Winter, it looks like you had the right idea.  Girls who get puke face drunk and start taking off their clothes while it’s snowing, definitely get called back.  Does your husband know how lucky he is?

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