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4 Reasons Being An Internet Slut Isn’t As Cool As You Think

It’s cool to be a whore and write about it: Wait what? Yea, for some reason, it’s becoming a trend to get your pudding pounded by a ridiculous amount of guys, write about it, and score hi-5’s from other sluts on the Internet.

What used to be a frowned upon walk of shame is now being used as a way to get attention and praise.  How adorable.  There will never be a female Tucker Max, stop trying.  I’ll explain why in the conclusion.

For now, let’s take a look at why boasting about your “empowering” slutty lifestyle isn’t as cool as you might think.  (Yes, I’m looking directly at you ladies – using the term loosely – who have a .blogspot domain and are desperate for attention).

You Gain Zero Social Status

Despite what you may think after you get those first few virtual fist bumps, airing your dirty laundry makes you look completely retarded.  Let’s take the Duke Whore for example:

“I regret it with all my heart. I would never intentionally hurt the people that are mentioned on that.”

While this young lady certainly got her 15 minutes, the price she paid wasn’t really worth the reputation of an entire school and a handful of athletes. After all the jizz was wiped away, she still had egg all over her face when her detailed slut journal went public.

Making Fun Of Cock Size? Karma Will Own You

Before you start typing about the size of the latest cock you gobbled, ask yourself these two simple questions:

  1. Is my vagina tight?
  2. Has my cooter ever smelled funny during a hookup?

If the answer to either one of these is “I don’t know” then you should probably shut the fuck up.  You wouldn’t want to read about how the smell of your axe wound made someone dry heave would you?  If we want to know about cock size, we will ask a professional.

There Is No Prince Charming

Do you think you can bang 50 guys, write about it, and still find a man who will treat you like gold?  No.  Men want to get laid.  We’ll do what it takes.  And if it’s good, we’ll continue to do so.  Do you really think anyone is going to open doors, buy flowers, or cook dinner for someone who just gave it to an entire frat house for free?  Do yourself a favor and give us the answer that every other girl gives us: “I’ve only been with 3 guys, but I made them wait a really long time.”  Yea we know it’s bullshit, but at least we won’t feel like chumps after we read about the jizz sundae an entire football team gave you.

Master Key Analogy

Why is it cool for guys to sleep with a lot of girls, but when a girl does it she is considered a slut?  A wise man once said:

“A key that can open many locks is called a master key, but a lock that can be opened by many keys is a shitty lock.”

/fucking thread

Conclusion: It will never be funny to make a f*ck book, size chart, or a man meter if you are a female.  Double standard?  Fuck yea.  But look at it this way.  You rarely have to pickup drink tabs, buy dinner, or even make an effort to go out with someone of the opposite sex.   Would you really trade that all in so that your peers might look at you as a pimp?  No. Thus, you should not get the hi-5’s or fist bumps for laying on your back and saying “OK”. Men and women are different. You need to accept this fact.

So before you start a site bragging about how you bang pro athletes, you should ask yourself if the end reward is worth it.  A prostitute is at least making money while she’s getting used up, a slut with a blog is just a slut with a blog.