Now that you kids have been in college for awhile, you’re about to experience the beat down of “midterms.” Everyone has told you the horror stories about packing on a sh*t load of weight once you hit college, but you haven’t yet, so you think it’s a myth. It isn’t, and you’re about to feel it’s wrath.

How do I know this? Because you should be studying, but instead you’re browsing through our archive of half naked babes, trying to find the one that makes it tickle in your shorts.

That’s cool and everything *fist pump for the page views* but tonight you’re going to end up falling asleep with an AMP energy drink in one hand, and a hot pocket in the other while trying to study.  For the next few weeks, you’re going to snack and cram, it’s inevitable.  But before that happens, we’re going to drop a few healthy hints your way, so you don’t look like a complete freshman fatass before Christmas.

Snack Bars: Granola bars or any other fruit bar

Nature Valley is a lifesaver.  Replace your desk drawer stash of “bite sized snickers” with these, ASAP.

Cereal: (No not the good sh*t)

Sorry bro, Lucky Charms and Fruity Pebbles don’t count.

Grilled Cheese

With some minor substitutions you can make a fairly decent meal out of a cheese sandwich.  Skip the sliced American cheese and go for a part-skim cheese with whole grain bread.

Chips and Salsa

Go for the low sodium/spicy combo.  Spicy foods increase sex drive as well.  An increased sex drive = more fapping, and fapping burns calories.  See the logic?
Baby carrots and Low Fat Ranch

This picture doesn’t do them any justice.  Baby carrots are awesome, even if they look disgusting.

Turkey Wrap

Spread some cream cheese on a tortilla, roll up a few turkey slices, enjoy healthy ownage.
Mac n Cheese

Try a healthier alternative from Kraft like Annie’s Natural Classic Mac n Cheese that doesn’t require a ton of butter.

Conclusion:  You’re going to put on some pounds no matter what, it’s just up to you how out of control you wanna let your gut get.

Co-written by Tara from, your go-to website for getting your paper done on time.