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6 Things That Piss Single Men Off

Single men and bachelors have a few things that drive them up the wall, that the everyday family man has grown used to.  A runny nose, a screaming baby, or two yammering housewives can almost be blocked out by a married man with kids.  The rest of use however, get pushed closer and closer to the dark side.
Women Taking Up An Entire Grocery Isle

When two women meet in a grocery store, you’re bound to see a traffic jam.  Logical thinking, like moving ahead and forming a line with the carts is rarely used though.  So basically you’ve got two options.

  • interrupt the deep soccer mom conversation and receive an eye roll
  • walk to the next isle

Either way, you’re going to be irritated.

Screaming Children

The older you get, the more this will annoy you.  Single people or people who don’t have kids for that matter, don’t find them nearly as cute as their parents.  We don’t want to see every shit they take get posted on Facebook, we don’t care what they drew at school, and most of all, we don’t want to hear them fn’ shrieking.

Slow Left Lane Drivers

So you’re cruising along in the left lane thinking to yourself  “damn I might make it to work on time after all” when bam, you’re stuck behind an idiot moving at the same pace as the guy in the next lane over.  So instead of just being able to move to the the right and go around him, you’re now stuck behind a moving barricade.

People Who Order For An Entire Family In A Fast Food Line

People who don’t have to buy food for anyone but themselves do not want to wait in line for someone to get 8 combo meals without tomatoes.  The worst part?  By the time it’s their turn to order, they still don’t know what they want.  You end up getting some mommy talking like this “Tell the nice man what you want honey….OK do you want pickles?….OK what do you want to drink?  They don’t have that sweetie, what else do you like?”  GET YOUR FUCKING FAMILY OUT OF MY WAY.  It takes the rest of us 30 seconds to get our stuff.  If this is going to be some magic school bus type of field trip to Subway, then please, let us go in front of you.

Someone Who Doesn’t Pull Forward At The Gas Pump

They make a row of pumps for a reason.  If the gas station is empty, then you should pull up to the very last one, allowing people to easily move in behind you.  This is never the case.  Some monster douche will almost always just plop into the first opening, making it a pain in the ass to go around them.

Not Knowing How To Use Self Check Out

The self check out stand is a great way to get in, pick up the three items you need, and get out before “the best of shark week” starts.  Sadly, someone clueless will use a jam packed store as an opportunity to get a step by step walk through on how a self check out stand is supposed to work.  In their defense, they will sit there and fail miserably for a good ten minutes before asking for help.

Conclusion: I’m not hating on kids or families, I’m sure one day I will fire my load into a fertile young lady and have one of my own.  The point though is this:  We have express lanes, fast food, quick stops etc. for a reason.  These words all represent speed, and if your lifestyle can’t hang, then please scoot the eff over instead of slowing the rest of us down.

Honorable mention: couples sharing FB accounts and uploading retarded pictures.