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Whale hunting


Name: MattyY
Age (at the time): 22

So I was at the bar one night. Absolutely trashed. I was black out drunk at about midnight. All night i was dancing with girl. I thought she was smoking hot. My buddies kept laughing at me but I didn’t care I was going home with this chick. So from mid night till about 10 am everything is a blank. But when I woke up I realized I wasn’t at my place. So I’m looking around trying to comprehend exactly where I am. I look over and see this cute face. Like she had a gorgeous face so I got all excited. I leaned over and kissed her.

I started to lift the blanket to have a “really good” morning, and holy shit. Like I’m not a small man, I’m 270lbs, but shit this chick was HUGE. She must have out weighed me by at least 80 lbs, but big. So I grabbed my shit, didn’t even get dressed. I just ran outta of her apartment and started to run down the street holding my clothes. At this time I’m on a street in downtown Edmonton Alberta, half naked and calling my buddy to come pick me up. That was a very regretful morning.

Dear Matty Y, there is an old saying that goes “beggars can’t be choosers” and in your case I think it might apply. You see, when dudes are drunker than 67 indians and have drool on their shirts and piss stains on their pants, they probably aren’t going to pick up the hottest chick of all time. Let’s do some quick math just for fun. 270 + 80 = 350 LBS. That is almost worth forcing yourself to do it just for the bragging rights. Anyway, +1 for getting her naked but -5 for running away.

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