Name: Tate
Age (at the time): 23

So about a year ago I started trying to convince my gf to have anal. She was always kind of shy about it until that one horrible night. We had started the night drinking at a friend’s house, and by the time we got home we were stumbling over each other.

One thing leads to another and we’re attempting to get it on. Seeing a perfect opportunity I gave her a soft nudge on the rump and said “let’s do it.” She agreed. And for about 22 seconds it was like a little slice of heaven.

As I was watching and making sure that I didn’t go in our out too fast I noticed some substance fall from her rear end. This is when I panicked. I tried to flick the piece of poo off of the sheets but it stuck to my finger nail.

I was frantically wiping and flicking while trying to not tip her off as to what  had happened.  At first she didn’t notice but when she did it was mortifying for both us.  She kept saying “IS THAT SHIT!? “DID  I JUST SHIT!?”

Then she started crying and ran out of the room.  We have never discussed the incident or tried anal again.

Dear Tate, Your GF seems pretty awesome.   Usually when a girl tells you “no” for a solid year, then she usually means it.  Funny what a handful of cosmos and some jell-o shooters can do right?  Also, if you do give the “rear end rodeo” another try, make sure you squirt some KY on that Hershey highway, it does wonders.