The one night stand is one of the best things that has happened to mankind, ever.  You get all of the fun from sexual intercourse, without having to do shit in return.  Sure, you probably had to rack up a hefty bar tab, but you didn’t have to hear about any Grey’s Anatomy for an hour (which to any man is a massive win).

Today we’re going to take a look at “post one night stand etiquette.”  If your one night stand was decent looking, smelled nice, and took down a load like it was another day at the office, then you’re ultimately going to want to keep her around as a “no strings booty call.”  Here are some dos and don’ts on how to make that happen.

Waking Up

Do roll over and plant one on her cheek before you jump out of bed.

Don’t ask her if she wants an Altoid for her morning breath.

Getting Dressed

Do act polite and offer to take her out to iHop.  This will make her feel like you’re a good person and not a complete dirt bag.

Don’t start talking about how her vag was the tightest thing you’ve ever felt.

Walking To The Car

Do give her a hug and tell her that you enjoyed hanging out with her.

Don’t give her a power pat on the back and while thanking her for letting you place your penis in her.

Conclusion: By doing all of these steps, you might just add another philly to your stable.  However, if the experience was awful and you never want to see her again, then just do the opposite of what we told you.