Facebook Google Plus Twitter

Rough Night? Let us find the content!

My Female Roommate Just Caught Me Jerking Off, What Now?

Often times in life you’ll find yourself in a coed living arrangement. A lot of times a male/female roommate combo works out for the best.

  • Testosterone gets balanced out
  • You won’t have more than one woman PMS’ing
  • Generally you try to be less of a pig around the opposite sex

Unfortunately, with the good comes the bad.  One of the bads is that females really don’t understand how much we jerk off until they get stuck with us.  In short, you’re probably going to get caught flogging your dolphin at least once.  Stay calm, we’re going to shoot a couple suggestions in your direction.

Act Like You Are Getting Dressed


If you act like you’re getting dressed, a well mannered female roommate will usually quickly turn around and excuse herself from the area.  This cuts down on the uneasiness when the two of you will next cross paths.  “Sorry for marching in while you were getting dressed lol” is a lot easier laugh about than “Remember the time I busted in on you while you were pounding your pud.”

Pretend Like You Didn’t Notice Her

If you’re positioned in a way that you can continue rubbing one out, without having to face your doorway, then go ahead keep your rhythm.  Best case scenario, she watches for a moment before joining in.  Worst case scenario, she becomes shocked and appalled, eventually tells all of her friends you have a small penis.  Is this risk worth the reward?  We’d like to think so.

Awkwardly Cover Your Shit Up


Probably the most instinctive reaction when someone barrels into your room whilst naked, is to quickly cover up the areas that you don’t want them to see.  Unfortunately your massive boner will often protrude through whatever small piece of clothing you used to cover it up with.  This will leave your roommate with an “ohh damn what kind of perv am I living with” taste in her mouth.  Eventually she’ll end up getting paranoid about walking around in her long night shirt/pantie combo, and inevitably she’ll move out.

Invite Her To Help You Finish


While this seems like a far-fetched idea, let me please remind you that some girls are awesome (nsfw).  Sure a much smaller percentage of woman fap on the reg, or crave a good weekly pounding, but you know they do exist.  Throw your cards and your yogurt slinger on the table and ask her if she’d be down to give it a whirl “as friends.”  If you have done this, and mastered the whole “no strings” that comes with it, then you my friend, have felt pure win.

Optional Conclusion: Lock your door