Regretful Morning

How To Bang a Girl Who Put You In The Friend Zone

Posted May 5th, 2010 at 2:50 pm by

Getting Friend Zoned or “FZ’d” is one of the worst things that can happen in the dating world, and probably one of the biggest fails mankind has ever faced.  Cake didn’t write a song called “Friend is a four letter word” because it sounded cool.  The FZ is serious business, and it has ruined lives.

So the million dollar question is this: Can you get out of the Friend Zone once you’ve been placed there?  The short answer is yes.  Unfortunately the odds aren’t in your favor.  A very wise Insanity Wolf once said the following:

500 years ago, this may have worked.  Sadly, law enforcement frowns upon this type of behavior.  Don’t trip chocolate chip, before you blow your emo brains all over your Taking Back Sunday poster, we’re going to drop some serious advice on you.

Ignore The Shit Out Of Her.

Getting a text?  Don’t reply.  She calling you again?  Don’t answer, you’re not a shoulder to cry on.  You want to put your penis in her vagina, and if she’s not calling to setup an appointment with your meat whistle, then you’ve got other shit to do.  The sad truth is, if she texts you right now, you’ll probably write her back.  If you really want to get out of the FZ, you need to start with this step.

Ask Her For Advice

Asking a female for advice about another girl is golden.  Don’t sound like  a pussy, but throw her a story about how some new chick you really like is coming to visit and you really want to impress her etc etc.  There is a 50% chance that this will end in “you can do so much better” or “she sounds like a bitch.”

Act Like You’re Banging Someone New

Next time she asks you to come over and talk about how men are assholes, kindly let her know that you have already made other plans.  When she asks who you made said plans with, shrug it off like it isn’t a big deal “Oh just some girl I met the other day.”  Her jealous rage will consume her.

Give Her Advice That Makes You Look Insensitive

Next time she asks you for relationship advice, you should act like a piece of shit.  Let me give you an example.

Q: Oh I don’t know what to do about Troy, he acts like such a jerk!

A: You should just let him bang you, lol.

This will show her that you don’t give two shits about her emotions/feelings.  Thus, making you more attractive in a “you make me wet even though you’re like a brother to me” type of way.

Conclusion: Before you say this doesn’t work, try it.  If you try and fail, then the only thing you lose is a friend.  But you didn’t want to be her friend anyway, you wanted to bang her.  So this is basically a win any way you slice it.

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80 Comments
  • Tim
    May 10, 2010
    Reply


    #1

    This shit’s real.

    • Jason
      May 10, 2010
      Reply


      #2

      yea it is

  • 23
    May 13, 2010
    Reply


    #3

    words of wisdom

  • Mary
    June 9, 2010
    Reply


    #4

    Want to get out of the friend zone? Grow some balls and ask her out on a date. If she says no, walk. Just walk. All the above is manipulation, it’s hurtful and it’s for cowards.

    • padro
      June 10, 2010
      Reply


      #5

      shut up bitch. go sit on a dick.

      • Blackstone
        June 11, 2010
        Reply


        #6

        LOL!

      • pedro
        June 11, 2010
        Reply


        #7

        QFT!

      • Erik
        June 11, 2010
        Reply


        #8

        Tip #4 in action!

    • Durr Hurr
      June 11, 2010
      Reply


      #9

      You sound like you could use a good face fucking.

    • Popachubby
      June 11, 2010
      Reply


      #10

      It’s social engineering

    • Nick
      June 11, 2010
      Reply


      #11

      I disagree, Mary. Most guys who try that get turned down. I’ve had quite a few friends have that happen to them. In fact, I have never heard of an instance where the guy who was FZ’d was successful in asking out the girl.
      And, for the record, most girls find guys that they get really close to, through manipulation. Flirting and pretending to like them, and then completely shutting down when the guy tries to make a relationship out of it. So, please, save your b.s. for somebody who gives a crap. None of us do.

    • donkey
      June 11, 2010
      Reply


      #12

      the friend zone is emotional manipulation at its finest.

    • Adam
      June 11, 2010
      Reply


      #13

      It’s funny when girls think they know how to date girls. Seriously they don’t even know what they want. Take most girl’s advice on how to do things and it’s a good way not to get laid. It should be a roadmap to no sex in fact with copious amounts of travel in the friends zone.

      Besides… what makes you think asshole isn’t a default mode for a lot of men? It is and it’s because it’s how we’re taught to act because women like it. It is really kinda paradoxical to think about but it’s true. Women don’t like nice guys. Why? Well in actuality nice guys ARE the manipulators. They being nice to you to get in your pants… they’re stupid because it doesn’t work and they don’t realize it.

      So really your comment boils down to… “Boy I wish everyone didn’t follow human nature so much gee golly goshdarnit”. Keep dreamin.

    • bob
      June 11, 2010
      Reply


      #14

      clueless chicks like you. Try to understand guys for once and you will ahve a sad realization that they don’t give two shits about your hurt feelings.

    • Nick
      May 20, 2011
      Reply


      #15

      coming from a guy who has been there asking her out will only make her avoid us, this shit works and its for men who are go getters who know women are only other humans and they dont deserve to be put on a pedestal like a god

  • Leo
    June 11, 2010
    Reply


    #16

    A wise wolf indeed! That’s how got my GF from some other ‘Troy’ and it’s been Bangfest ever since.

  • Frank
    June 11, 2010
    Reply


    #17

    Well put padro. Mary deserves a gang-raping…if she’s airtight she won’t be able to yap that annoying mouth of hers.

    • J
      June 11, 2010
      Reply


      #18

      OMFG

      If we needed any more evidence this article and the comments are completely sick – here it is.

  • two cents
    June 11, 2010
    Reply


    #19

    All girls do is manipulate……………

  • J
    June 11, 2010
    Reply


    #20

    This whole article is completely offensive. You clearly suggest raping the woman, but not, only because ” law enforcement frowns upon this type of behavior “. WTF???

    You then follow up with a series of strange manipulative behaviors. People who find this advice works are attracting twisted people.

    What works is being honest, actually expressing what you want, and finding people who share similar interests.

    This article isn’t even funny, it’s deeply sick.

    • Kage
      June 11, 2010
      Reply


      #21

      Obliviously you have very little understanding of human sexual behavior. This article actually makes a lot of sense. The evolution of our entire species is based on sexual manipulation. There is no environmental factor to explain why homo sapiens evolved to be so intelligent, we are intelligent because it is sexy, and because is it beneficial to be sexually successful by being manipulative. Women do it just as much men do, and statistically cheat on partners just as much. One in ten fathers is cuckolded without knowing it, this is based on DNA studies done by evolutionary biologist Robin Baker.

      • J
        June 11, 2010
        Reply


        #22

        I understand human behavior quite well.

        What I’m saying is that this attitude toward sex is a sickness. Lying, manipulation, deceiving “put her in the rape zone!” – yes, people can exist in the world this way, but it eventually catches up with you. Most people I see in the US eventually have crappy lives because they don’t understand how their lives can be great without falling into this shitty behavior.

        Brutal and complete honesty works really well for attracting people with similar interests. It’s petty and scared people who resort to trickery.

        • Kage
          June 11, 2010
          Reply


          #23

          Lying, manipulating, and deceiving are all part of human nature. They are inherently part of what makes us human. We all do them, yourself included. If you suggest otherwise then A) you are a pretentious lier B) a program made to post ignorant comments designed to irk me, if such is the case bravo

          Also a women is twice as likely to conceive from one rape compared to a normal partner (FACT), therefore I propose the subconsciously women actually WANT TO BE RAPED….lol

          • Elena
            January 8, 2011
            Reply


            #24

            Lying, manipulating and deceiving are NOT part of human nature. It could be the nature of a pervert, a maniac, or an animal, but not a healthy and intelligent human. Just because a species looks like Homo sapiens does not make them humane or intelligent. Most of our society is NOT human: they are mentally and physically frustrated, undeveloped species, but are trying their best to pretend that they’re something more, hence the cynicism this page is polluted with. If you want to become a human, then avoid animals like manipulative “women” or “men” in the first place. And if you DON’T want to be a human – fine, all the luck to you! Just don’t claim to be an “intelligent being”.

    • efjayel
      June 11, 2010
      Reply


      #25

      “What works is being honest, actually expressing what you want, and finding people who share similar interests.”

      Yeah… that’s like when women say they just want “a nice guy.”

      We all know that’s bull cause if it was true then all the women wouldn’t end up with nice guys instead of the assholes.

    • Spider
      June 11, 2010
      Reply


      #26

      Want sick? A guy I know has been strung around by girls all his life. He’s invested time, money and energy into them. The moment he expresses his feelings, he gets shut down. Guy’s not bad looking or socially inept. He’s a solid provider and has a decent career.

      Guys are fed lies about relationships from day one. We’re told to be caring, to be understanding, and to be proactive. We endeavor to become better men by going to college, creating stability and learning to live with our fellow man. Who are our teachers and constant critics? Women. They tell us to dress nice, be nice and act like caring individuals. Then they go and fuck the bus boy that beats the shit out of them, turning their life into a tragedy worthy of a Lifetime channel movie.

      Life in the world has taught men like my friend that being kind, caring, successful, open and honest are detrimental to finding a woman. THAT’S sick.

  • mose
    June 11, 2010
    Reply


    #27

    But if you ignore her when do the next steps take place

    • Adam
      June 11, 2010
      Reply


      #28

      Save yourself a lot of trouble and learn to observe body language and social cues. There are a lot of good resources out there.

      I’m not gonna lie to you… field experience and trial and error will win the day. However, getting over your fear of rejection is the must do before anything else. Once that is done you actually have room to learn how relationships are done. You can get people to give you advice all day long but when it comes down to it nothing beats experience. Go ask a whore friend how they get their women. They’ll usually more than happily take you under a wing… every bar crawler needs a wingman.

  • scarabin
    June 11, 2010
    Reply


    #29

    gold

  • icev
    June 11, 2010
    Reply


    #30

    This article is awesome.

  • Charlie
    June 11, 2010
    Reply


    #31

    Mary is right. This stuff may work, but it still makes you a total dipshit.

  • Minstershroud
    June 11, 2010
    Reply


    #32

    # 15 – J – Wrong, sooooo Wrong. Telling a girl exactly how you truly, honestly feel is the formula for one of two things: 1 you will never talk to or hear from her again, and every time you see her it will be this retarded awkward situation. 2 you’ll remain ‘friends’ with her (sorta) but still with the retarded awkwardness. The true answer is your fucked no matter how you slice it.

    • J
      June 11, 2010
      Reply


      #33

      This article and thread of comments is TOTALLY SICK.

      THE WHOLE PREMISE THAT MEN SHOULD BE TRYING TO HAVE SEX WITH WOMEN WHO DON”T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH THEM IS WRONG. WRONG WRONG WRONG.

      there are a *lot* of people in the world, and mostly every single one of them want to have sex. it is EASY to find people who want to have sex with you. If you are honest with someone and it creates a “retarded awkward situation” – move on, walk away, find someone else.

  • Bruno
    June 11, 2010
    Reply


    #34

    Wish I had this advice in highschool. Would of sped things up. I got to that point though, just took a few years.

  • matt
    June 11, 2010
    Reply


    #35

    @J: All women do is manipulate and deceive. So clueless that you need examples? Makeup… to look more attractive than what they really are… deception. Friendzone… the pinnacle art of emotional manipulation by women. To say it is “wrong” or “unfair” for a guy to social engineer his way into a girls panties is hypocrisy at its finest. Although I agree with the rape thing being a little overboard. All that said, you still need to STFU.

    • J
      June 11, 2010
      Reply


      #36

      Of course you would think “all” women manipulate and deceive – JUST LOOK AT ALL THESE COMMENTS – men mostly all saying “right on, dude” to, hmmm, manipulation and deception.

      For the most part, you get what you give. If you deceive, you get people like that around you. Sounds like that is the world you live in. That’s sad, for you, and for the people who have to interact with you.

      If people are living in a world where they think this article is reasonable, even slightly, they are missing out on the beauty of healthy bi-directional and honest relationships.

      • Jeff
        June 11, 2010
        Reply


        #37

        I agree, this whole article is very offensive. I could not believe the graphic at top. And the comments are even worse. However some of the advice does hit on some true behavior between the sexes.

    • Kage
      June 11, 2010
      Reply


      #38

      I agree, also the friendzone is often used as a test by women. Sometimes it doesnt mean they dont want to have sex, sometimes it is used as a test. If you pass you get sex, fail you get friendship.

  • W
    June 11, 2010
    Reply


    #39

    8 year olds dude…

  • Kage
    June 11, 2010
    Reply


    #40

    I agree, also the friendzone is often used as a test. Sometimes the woman very much wants to have sex, but first you have to pass a test, which most women do. If you pass you get sex, if you fail you get friendship.

  • Kristen
    June 11, 2010
    Reply


    #41

    shut up J some of us enjoy rape fantasy so get off your high horse. I enjoy when a man shows me my place

  • jackasses
    June 11, 2010
    Reply


    #42

    RAPE ZONE?! fucking stupid mother fuckers… when did rape become funny? dumbass mother fuckers… shit funny until it happens to ur mom, or sister, or friend, or wife… then the rape zone ain’t so funny anymore… dumbass mother fuckers…

  • D
    June 11, 2010
    Reply


    #43

    Google up “Courage Wolf”. Get your panties out of a bunch and realize it’s just a joke and an internet meme. I’m a woman and that is not offensive to me. People take crap way too seriously on things like this. It makes no sense. No to mention these guidelines are pretty much true. I’ve seen it happen plenty of times and it’s ridiculous what girls will do to a nice guy. They’re taking advantage of the guy, so why not do the same to the girl. If she’s shallow enough to put the guy into the friend zone, then she isn’t worth it for the long haul anyway. Might as well get something out of it. If putting a guy into the friend zone is a test, then that’s still a manipulative move and so the guy should not be frowned upon for also wanting to manipulate.

  • Chris
    June 11, 2010
    Reply


    #44

    To the women pissed off: This article was written by and for guys. We say/think/feel
    things that we don’t act on. There’s a reason guys need ‘Guy’s Night Out’.

    No where does this article actually say ‘gee, we wish we could rape you’ – it alluded to it sure, but it’s /guy humor/. Fact of life. Any guy you’ve been with jokes around when with other guys. We all have urges that we don’t act on. Women, being the ones that decided when guys get to have sex, leaves guys feeling a bit powerless. However, women being women, they’ll continue to use it as a tool, and guys will still seek outlets. Feel good it’s joking around with other guys rather than having a fling, leaving you, or worse.

    And, the manipulation used here is SO freaking low-key, it’s not even funny. It’s certainly no worse than crying over silly little shit (common female manipulation trick). It’s not like the manipulation is being used to /change/ a person.

  • Surge
    June 11, 2010
    Reply


    #45

    This is true stuff. If anyone needs additional help with girls, I suggest reading David DeAngelo.

  • Tardigrade
    June 11, 2010
    Reply


    #46

    I don’t think the friend zone is a test at all. It’s more like a safe zone or a storage zone, where the woman can consider this man to be in arm’s reach but completely harmless. Kind of how men consider cleaning maids or librarians. They have a function but definitely not sexually.

    All heterosexual men want to have sex with attractive women, so women have a lot to choose from, hence a compartment strategy is required to fend off uninteresting/irrelevant men. As women tend to have only a single partner, the compartment strategy needs to be rather discriminatory and harsh. As women (and men too) try to avoid conflict, that strategy needs to be wrapped in a “let’s be friends” package.

    Kicking in open doors?

  • Tardigrade
    June 11, 2010
    Reply


    #47

    Also, don’t we men try to fend off ugly and/or creepy, high maintenance, crazy women, yet without saying that out loud? We use different approaches though (more a clean cut than FZ).

  • Stone
    June 11, 2010
    Reply


    #48

    Everyone here should watch ‘In the Company of Men’ with Aaron Eckhart.

  • Wealthy Older Man
    June 11, 2010
    Reply


    #49

    Mary,

    Wanting sex drives men insane. Many guys start out ‘nice.’ If they were girls, you would call them ‘wallflowers.’ They don’t ask girls they barely know out on dates, because they feel it’s not something ‘nice’ guys do. They don’t do anything special to make themselves attractive to the opposite sex because ‘the girl of my dreams will love me for who I am.’ Then they can’t figure out why they can never get anywhere, and why the girls they do know end up with ‘assholes’ (more about this later).

    At some point, the bitterness and frustration drives them batshit crazy and they convince themselves that they have to be an ‘asshole’ to get anywhere. They go from putting all women on a pedestal to convincing themselves that all women are whores. Some guys naturally start here, others arrive here through the process noted above. It is at this point that guys are able to get over their essential cowardice and ask girls out on dates. They are also prepared to work out, clean themselves up, and do whatever they think it takes to get into your pants.

    These are basically the kinds of guys commenting on this site. Real self confidence comes from real achievements, and generally the twenty-something (and sometimes thirty-something) crowd haven’t achieved anything except a high score in a video game and having sex. This is also why a lot of women end up dating older men (another thing that drives young men crazy).

    Glad I could help in explaining things.

  • funkymonty
    June 11, 2010
    Reply


    #50

    For the most part- what I see here is guys that just want to bang a girl not get into a relationship. And as a woman – in my experience of myself and friends is that for the most part (of course there may be exceptions) if a guy is in the friendzone it’s because of one of the two reasons-

    a) that girl doesn’t find you attractive and it’s not going to happen
    or
    b) you met while they were seeing/ interested in someone else and their mind was occupied elsewhere.

    for a) give it up – IT’S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN, because if you didn’t have the balls to ask at the beginning of the friendship you’ve lost the respect you would have gained from them by asking out right.

    b) now this is complicated because it’s new territory. They may not have even considered you during their relationship and if they did it is most likely in a long term relationship category not just sex. You have to decide if you want to keep them in your life or not and be honest (but not too soon, give her time to get over her past relationship; a years best if it was a long one).

    If truly you are interested in her, be specific … casual or long term? She’ll value your honesty and give you an honest answer.

    Being an asshole after a friendship- will lose them either way.

    And for those women who use friendship as a “test” – FUCK them – why on earth would you want to be with someone like that anyway.

    The one piece of advise from above that I think was sound is – make yourself not as available. If they realize that you are not around as much and there is potential for more- they will start to realise how much they want you there. If no potential, you’ll just lose contact with them.

  • Batman
    June 13, 2010
    Reply


    #51

    To some of the guys on here, you are morons! This whole friend zone thing….who the fuck cares, just move on to someone else? There is like 8 trillion women out there or something. Friend Zone means NOT INTERESTED, now who who want to spend their valuable time trying to gamble and seduce someone that already said you’re a loser and put in the FZ? Just move on, and if you are a stud, you will find someone soon enough. FZ? Give me a break, women can do whatever they want, it’s up to men to not get so fucking hurt and just move on.

    As for manipulation, courtship is a manipulation, all of dating at one point or another is trying to put your best foot forward, show off, and get your mate to commit (or just have sex). But this whole getting out of the FZ, who cares, just find another chick, geez.

  • Required: Name
    June 14, 2010
    Reply


    #52

    is it bad that my bf emailed this to himself because he couldnt read it at work??hmmmm..

    • Jason
      June 14, 2010
      Reply


      #53

      Why are you checking your BF’s email young lady?

  • Required: Name
    June 14, 2010
    Reply


    #54

    He had it open lol..so is it bad

    • Jason
      June 15, 2010
      Reply


      #55

      It means you should be putting out more. Also, stop reading his email :)

  • Required: Name
    June 15, 2010
    Reply


    #56

    Whoa!! I do!! He’s the girl about sex

    • Wallnutz
      July 9, 2010
      Reply


      #57

      Maybe you need a new boyfriend!

      • Required: Name
        July 12, 2010
        Reply


        #58

        Maybe. He said he thou it was funny so I’ll let it be.

      • Required: Name
        July 12, 2010
        Reply


        #59

        So you think it’s bad he was checking this out.

  • Truth
    November 9, 2010
    Reply


    #60

    This is the biggest load of playground bullshit I’ve ever read, probably meant for inexperienced teenagers who haven’t yet started living in the adult world. It’s a well known fact that the relationships that last are the ones in which two people were friends first. But if all you care about is shagging a girl and she just wants to be friends, it means she doesn’t want to sleep with you because you’re unattractive to her. Try growing up and moving on instead of then trying to trick her into bed. What a bunch of whiney losers.

  • abyss
    November 30, 2010
    Reply


    #61

    Well Truth, We’re all grown ups, but the elephant in the room is that most women are not. So acting like an adult did not work when it came to those weirdos. I think i’ll give a shot to being a whiney loser. I’ll let you know.

  • wow
    December 13, 2010
    Reply


    #62

    ive done this on accident before and hey i have to say it worked shes all up on my cock!

  • Duck_of_Death
    December 21, 2010
    Reply


    #63

    This can work with the shallow, insecure, perhaps even psychotic little girlies. A major aspect that has been overlooked is if this “tactic” does indeed work on the girl in question, the girl isn’t worthy of a healthy relationship regardless. And chances are–if it does work–she was just using you (The “friend!) as an ego-boost/emotional tampon. In other words: This “manipulation” does not make exclusive antagonists out of men who just wanna get their rocks off. The wimmins on here are (conveniently) over-looking this.

    Gee, I wonder why that is…

  • belial
    March 2, 2011
    Reply


    #64

    im a guy and i didn’t want to face the facts that this is the way things are. i learned the hard way and a friend of mine also said that you have to “mentally enslave” women, so what he said and this article probably goes hand in hand. im sure this will help me alot with my chick problems….just one question: at what point do you stop ignoring her so you can actually “kick it” with her?

  • lee
    March 19, 2011
    Reply


    #65

    Ignore the shit out of her, truest advice ever. If she doesn’t have her bitchboy around to vent all her girl shit to, she’ll miss that, the daily texting marathons, and ultimately you. Worked for me.

  • Amber
    March 31, 2011
    Reply


    #66

    Guys take advice from a chick who every guy wants to bone and I put them in the F.Z :( but to be honest I don’t want them in the friend zone so a guy that I put in the F.Z he asked me out and he scored so just try it :) ))

  • bob
    May 5, 2011
    Reply


    #67

    this is hilarious! any of you dumb fucks who disagree are too damn uptight. women are whores, never forget it

  • Justin
    June 11, 2011
    Reply


    #68

    This is all really based on personality traits. I for one have to go the opposite and instead of picturing the girl as an angel, I picture them as either “one of the guys” or my sister, etc., and that’s really me avoiding appearing “shy” and without character on my part. Call me strange, but although I am aware that this works, the one guys vsee as “the one” always makes guys trip up and stumble. I have yet to get over this damn hurdle. The “ignoring” part might work, as desperation begins to set in when, oh, NOTHING works for you FOR YEARS, you know? So giving up entirely is my final option, let’s hope it’s the jackpot, cause loneliness sucks. :’(

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