Ask A Slut: When Should I Take Her Home?

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Jenn is our self-proclaimed resident slut.  She has stated that her resume includes over 27 male sex partners (and 3 females).  We say “over 27” since she’s probably been boinked after sending her stats.

Today we’re going to ask Jenn about taking sluts home from the bar and the timing it requires.

RM: So if it’s 10:30 PM and she has had 7 cosmos and 2 Jager Bombs, how do I get her from the bar to my house?

Jenn: On a stretcher? Seriously, that’s not the girl you want to take home. You’ll want a girl who has paced herself and not gotten sloppy drunk, so she’s loopy but will still be lively when you get her back to your place.

First of all, find a girl who is sipping a drink, rather than drinking a pitcher of Long Island iced tea with a straw or throwing back shots. Sit down beside her and start a conversation. That way, before she’s done with the drink that’s already paid for, you’ll know if you’re interested and can gauge whether or not she’s slutty enough to go home with you. If not, you can move on.

However, if she’s the one you’re going to try to get in the sack later, stick around until she finishes the drink and listen to her babble about her roommate or whatever, then buy her another drink — or two, if that’s what it takes. Then you can suggest that you take a ride back to your place to hang out. If you picked the right slut, it’s a done deal from there.

REGRETFULMORNING Writer
REGRETFULMORNING Writer
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