Age (at the time): 20
I had been sharing a bed with a girl I met at uni for a couple of weeks but not sleeping with her, because I wasn’t going to cheat on my future ex-girlfriend, besides it was cold at her house and I was providing a service for her by keeping her warm.
Anyway this girl invited me to her 21st birthday party one weekend and said some other people from uni were coming up so I wouldn’t have to feel too awkward. So I get there and find out these bastard friends of mine hadn’t turned up. I was at a party where I knew no one in a town I didn’t know all that well. I took a bottle of rum to myself to get my confidence up, shit went downhill faster than I could drink it all away.
Her mother turned up, I told her I loved her daughter, and the mother’s friend threatened to make a youth potion and go out with me herself. All the while the birthday girl had gotten drunk enough to start snogging a bloke in the other room and then come and snog me.
Her mum then told me to keep the birthday girl in the front room so the male stripper could get in without being seen, I said I couldn’t do this because the birthday girl was flipping between me and the guy in the kitchen. I carried on drinking telling everyone around me I was going to kick the shit out of the guy who was half naked around the birthday girl.
Later I puked up in the front room then disappeared into the downstairs toilet to puke up some more. The birthday girl comes into the toilet to check on me and then rubs my back while she rinses my puke down the sink. I’m then guided up to the host’s spare bedroom (I later found out she had had one night stands with the host in the past, but that’s another story) On the way to the bedroom I see my puke on the front room floor, being to drunk to remember it was my puke to begin with I laugh and shout “Ha someone’s had a good time!”
The host turns around and informs me that it was my puke, at which point I shut up, make it to the bedroom and pass out on the bed.
Waking up the next morning, I find the birthday girl next to me. I can’t remember if anything happened though…
Dear Dan, Just to be clear: You know the girl you were sharing a bed with was a massive whore right? The host banged her, the guy in the kitchen probably at least got a bj, and then she ended up sleeping next to you. What do sloppy thirds feel like?
PS – I had to look up “snogging.” You Brits have the coolest words!