Regretful Morning

My Girlfriend is Stinky Down Below, What Now?

Posted February 3rd, 2010 at 11:00 am by

You and your lady friend have just wrapped up date number three, and since your roommate is gone you decide to take her back to your place with the patented “let’s watch a movie” line.  Date #3 is a pretty big milestone for us as men because we know it’s when most females feel that they can spread eagle on a guy’s twin bed without feeling like a whore.

stinkymontage

After an exciting make out session you begin to sneak below for the old ‘lick n’ stick’.  It is here that you are hit with a combination of armpit and dirty diaper.  The kind of aroma that would stop a charging bison in it’s tracks.

What should you do?  On your first time together you will need to power through the experience without saying a word.  Tell yourself that it was a hot day and your junk probably doesn’t smell much better.

However, we’re going to focus on what you need to do if this becomes a recurring issue.  Remember, there is no safe zone when it comes to offering a female advice on her appearance or hygiene.  Dropping hints will be your safest option.

Combined Shower - Before things get too steamy, let her know that you want to take a shower with her.  Seriously, if you stick to your guns and suggest a shower every single time, she’ll start to wonder if something is wrong with her.

sex-in-the-shower

Refusing Service - Refusal of service or simply staying away from the area says a few things:

  • I don’t like chowing on box
  • I don’t like chowing on YOUR box

If your girlfriend has an IQ over 90 she’ll use the process of elimination to pin point the problem.

Gag noises – This can be the most difficult to pull off because it involves a shit load of good acting and passive aggression.

gagging

What you’ll want to do is start making awful noises with your throat, kind of like you just took a bite out of a shit sandwich.  Then as you come back up, say something like “it’s not you it’s me.”  Once you toss that line out there, she’ll know something is up.

ConfrontationYou like your girlfriend and you’d hate to throw it all away because of some odor.  You know you can’t live like this though.  Remember, always use confrontation as a last resort.  We’ve outlined a right way and wrong of going about this.

Right Way: Honey, I was wondering if you noticed a peculiar smell coming from your vagina?  Is there anything I can do to help?

Wrong Way: Babe, you realize your vag smells like a Taco Bell dumpster right?  I mean, I’ll still hit it but my face won’t go anywhere near that axe wound, lol.

arguement-main_Full

Conclusion: Being in a situation like this is never pleasant.  We’d like to suggest a screening process before you get to the point of no return.  Sort of like you test drive a car before you buy it.  We’ll call it the “first date scratch n’ sniff.”  From here you should be able to size up the situation and make a decision on whether or not this is a road you’d like to go down.

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30 Comments
  • Mitch
    August 7, 2009
    Reply


    #1

    wrong. I dated a girl like this and it was bad in the shower too. It was a yeast infection or something.

    • april
      April 28, 2011
      Reply


      #2

      trichimonas is more like it. they are asymptomatic in the male urethra, but live there and that is how they get transmitted from person to person. it is a sexually transmittiple protazoa. and it smells worse in the shower. yeast infections generally don’t smell bad like that.if it were a fishy stench, it’s a bacterial infection, also transmittible and asymptomatic if the ph level is right in your little wee wee hole. but the yeast and bacteria are endogenous microbes, a slight shift in ph level through heat or what is eaten and even antibiotics can set off an infection one way or another, depending which microflora gets wiped out. if it smells that bad, you shouldn’t be near it, and she should know enough if she can smell it when she pulls of her drawrs to pee, she shouldn’t be offering it up

  • Gerald Weber
    August 7, 2009
    Reply


    #3

    Fortunately I’ve never had the unfortunate problem of having to deal with a stinky vag, but if I did I’d be like biatch you need to clean that shit or no rama dama ding dong for you!

  • Spewf
    August 7, 2009
    Reply


    #4

    I just must get lucky. Every girl I have gone down on has smelled good (well not bad) . Guess they must take showers or something right before and wash it out.

  • Carol Zara
    August 8, 2009
    Reply


    #5

    Seriously, r u guys dating homeless people or what? How come a normal girl would let her vagina smell like a mix of “armpit and dirty diaper”??? ftw

  • duke
    August 17, 2009
    Reply


    #6

    if your girl stinks like clam chowder down south she obviously isn’t taking the time to shower before a banging session!

  • shaggy
    August 27, 2009
    Reply


    #7

    During foreplay finger bang her while kissing, Then hug her close and kiss her neck while wrapping your arms around her. Run those fingers by your nose. if it stinks you’ll know not to even venture down there and can avoid the situation altogether.

  • zoot suits
    September 1, 2009
    Reply


    #8

    I say perhaps your need a crotch mint

    • aReS
      February 13, 2010
      Reply


      #9

      omg.. i lol so hard i peed my pants.. you sir are a genious..

  • Nick
    September 10, 2009
    Reply


    #10

    Well… Obviously she didn’t no she was gonna get boned.
    But.. every girl should be clean down there.
    My ex-girl has cuts down there! and smelled like BO baddd! she has cum packed in her underwear.
    Like wtf?!?!?!?! i was like bitch get the fuck out you fucking whore Jesus!
    now some girls use arm deodorant

  • Himmler
    January 30, 2010
    Reply


    #11

    I’m seeing a chick now who smells less than ideal. I’ve gone down on her twice and it’s the same thing. She even showered a few hours before I came over. I love going down on a girl, but the smell makes me not want to do my best :( I’m gonna talk about it in person with her and see what she thinks. I like going down so much that I think I’m willing to stomach it.

  • Rob P.
    January 31, 2010
    Reply


    #12

    Carol, I’m sorry honey, but a lot of women don’t realize how bad it can get down there.

    I’m lucky that my woman and I are pretty open and honest. At this point she knows it’s better to have a communal shower first…..The female body, while gorgeous, does have this one problem. Even if you think you are fresh and clean, it isn’t always so when the olfactory starts working.

    Part of that is natural female hormones upon being stimulated. But that’s a very different scent from the stale smell of pussyfarts from last week.

  • Rob P.
    January 31, 2010
    Reply


    #13

    Himmler just be honest with her. I mean, really. Just. Be. Honest.

    She might thank you for it.

    She might not know how truly bad it is, and has tried everything. It might be as simple as changing the brand of feminine products she uses, or douching. Every woman is different.

    IMHO if she likes you she will respect honesty more than anything. Don’t do anything stupid like “Your crotch stinks”……Try for conversation and subtle talk. I started with my girl by asking, “what it is like when you go down?”

    I got a couple eye-openers about male odor too. The result is a much more satisfying sex-life (to my chagrin). She lifes me going down on her almost as much as penetration. Ofr course it’s reciprocal, so I can’t complain.

  • Living with Balls
    February 3, 2010
    Reply


    #14

    If you get comfortable enough in the relationship, I’d go ahead and tell her. Cunnilingus too fun to just give up on.

  • Goop
    February 3, 2010
    Reply


    #15

    This is retardedly written

    /and please tell your sister to wash her box

  • Fayetteville Wedding Video
    February 4, 2010
    Reply


    #16

    Yeah, the smell can ruin it.

  • JayT
    February 5, 2010
    Reply


    #17

    #6 is pro. Words to live by.

  • B011381
    February 6, 2010
    Reply


    #18

    As a girl I always wash up down there. I do the whole sticking my finger in my pussy and smelling it thing. I can handle the guy being smelly (unless I’m knocked up then I can’t stand it) but I don’t ever want to be smelly for him.

  • Kendal
    February 7, 2010
    Reply


    #19

    Take a look in her shower and check for a bottle of summer’s eve. women think they can just wash away, hide, or ignore the stink. If it is a reacurring thing it can be more than just a common yeast infection like it or not it is the CLAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Make sure she gets her shit checked.

  • Mike Schwab
    February 12, 2010
    Reply


    #20

    http://www.idph.state.il.us/about/womenshealth/factsheets/vag.htm
    It is not always yeast, so the over the counter treatments do not work on them

  • Metalguppy
    February 14, 2010
    Reply


    #21

    Honestly, I dion’t see a problem here. When I put my face over it, I can’t smell anything. IMHO, you’re doing it wrong.

  • Julia
    February 15, 2010
    Reply


    #22

    He! Guys I sometimes have this odor problem, My huby does it in a decent manner. He fondles and if stinky ,he fingers and brings the finger near my nose as if caressing my face. I can make out on an excuse to use the lo I come back washed. We {he or Me} have never ever said something about it but understanding is the basic factor

  • VNH
    February 24, 2010
    Reply


    #23

    All the bathing and showering together in the world won’t help if your girl has a bacteria infection. And seriously, what girl doesn’t touch herself and do the “sniff test” her self before letting anyone below. Any self-respecting girl has been doing this since they were teenagers….Who are these stankers you guys are screwing??? Oh and PS – douching fucks up the vaginal Ph and will just make it stink more in the long run…

  • Stan
    April 8, 2010
    Reply


    #24

    I love a girl to stink real bad like a dead squirrel or something. God that’s awesome! Eating nasty stank is natural. Run a marathon together and then immediately do it afterwards. Yums!

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