Valentines Day weekend is a gold mine for single men. Unfortunately, most of us don’t know it and will probably ruin any chance of action by being “too nice.”
If a girl you like gets dumped during the week of V-day, it’s logical to be there for her, get her some flowers, and possibly take her to a nice restaurant – right? See this is where most of us fuck up. That my friends what gets you “OMG I’m so glad I have friends like you.”
The solution: Put your emotions aside and move in for the kill. When a lion sees an injured gazelle limping on the open plains, he does not try to nurse it back to health. Sure it’s heartless and you might even feel like an ass, but this is how the circle of life works young Simba.
Here are 10 rage comics to help prove our point.
Mixed Signals
Logical Female is Logical
I Only Date Assholes
Sex Is Great
I Was Drunk, lulz
You’re a Nice Guy
2 Weeks of Spending Time Together
From The Girl’s Perspective
The Friend Zone Explained
The Friend Zone Solution (Click to Enlarge)
February 14, 2010
#1
amen
February 14, 2010
#2
It beats married valentines = http://bit.ly/aLVq4D
February 14, 2010
#3
I just read this “And even though I enjoy a “open relationship” (don’t tell my husband!), I always show him an amazing time come Valentine’s Day!” you’re one silly dumpster.
February 15, 2010
#4
you’d still bang her. how many times have you told us you like fat chicks…
February 14, 2010
#5
Very true, and thats why I say and believe “Girls are Evil”
February 14, 2010
#6
Nailed it !!!
February 14, 2010
#7
“FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFU I AM ENTITLED TO PUSSY AND I AM NOT GETTING IT. STUPID CUNT TRYING TO MAKE FRIENDS OUTSIDE OF HER OWN GENDER”
February 14, 2010
#8
w0rd to this.
February 14, 2010
#9
So, the comic where the girl only dates assholes and can’t date her nice friend who is like, “FFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU”
Well, fellas, if you’re going through the situation detailed in the last comic over and over again, guess what? You’re that girl who only dates assholes, only even more pathetic since you never get any. Here’s a novel idea: instead of expecting her to tell you that she just wants to be friends after you’ve been hanging out for weeks AS FRIENDS, be clear about YOUR intentions the first fucking time you ask her out. Or hell, make her buy her own damn coffee until you seal the deal.
Here’s a tip for everyone everywhere…stop playing games, and start refusing to be interested in people who do so.
February 15, 2010
#10
I like you, Sarah! Will you go out with me? I feel you should know, though, my intentions are not “friendly.” Unless you’re fat.
February 16, 2010
#11
Sarah, I don’t think you are understanding something. We think that when we get you to hang out with us, we are making our intentions clear. Sure, any guy who does that isn’t exactly a player, but most just don’t know any better. Buying her stuff is something guys dating her do, not just friends. I see most women who give the “lets just be friends” speech as women who know that the man likes them, but keeps using them for emotional warmth. Come on, women can spell a guy approaching from a mile away. Don’t tell me they can’t tell if he just wants to be friends, when the past 20 guys to talk to her just wanted to bang her.
Second, it seems that every desirable girl dates assholes.
Third, your solution to the problem is easy to say, but hard to do. Everyone plays games. From you, to me, everyone. Because there will always be some manipulation of someones emotions in any relationship. You could say a push up bra is manipulative because it is designed to elicit a specific response.
If you’re in the friend zone, it’s because she wasn’t attracted to you.
February 14, 2010
#12
Cry hard…
February 14, 2010
#13
You know, if you run your romantic life like a sitcom character, because you believe everything about males and females that you hear from sitcom scripts, don’t have the nerve to be surprised when you have sitcom problems.
If you don’t like these games, DON’T DATE SHALLOW PEOPLE. Or shoot yourself, either one works in our long-term genetic favor.
February 14, 2010
#14
The person who wrote this comic seems like they’re spending v-day with someone special.
February 14, 2010
#15
I can’t say I have any sympathy for this person. Like Sarah said above, if you’re interested in a person romantically or physically, be up front about it. If you’re going to be spineless and hide your true intentions, don’t be surprised when the unfortunate object of your attentions is confused and uninterested. Grow up, be an adult, and stop complaining about problems you’ve created.
February 14, 2010
#16
This isn’t funny.
February 14, 2010
#17
I’m a girl and I would never do this to any guy, and I can’t stand girls who do this because they hog all of the nice guys’ attention! LOL
February 14, 2010
#18
Mmmm… girl boy relationship are just a Mystery
February 14, 2010
#19
Real men are assholes; as a result real men get pussy. By the way, if you suddenly realize the validity of that statement and feel compelled to enhance your attitude, you will fail to be the effective asshole with any women you knew as a nice guy. My advice: be an asshole from day one; an established personality is not easy to break (whether it be going from nice guy to asshole, or vice versa, which is never recommended), so abandon any hope of being with women you already know. Find new women and tease them the moment you see them. Let the tease be the first thing you ever say to them. You’re life will change dramatically. Take my word for it.
Yours truly,
friendly neighbourhood pimp
February 14, 2010
#20
Ah fucking hell–I hate grammar slips. *YOUR*
February 15, 2010
#21
kne33ch41: You are no “pimp; you are an out-and-out FRAUD. Apo;logizing for grammar slips is “nice”.
February 15, 2010
#22
To Sarah and Sonya, if a guy tells you the first day he meets you that he wants to date, you’d find it weird. It’s called taking it slow, and taking your time. I have a feeling you two are EXACTLY like the chicks in these comics. I’ve been through this, not because I’m spineless, or anything like that. It’s cuz girls play mind games. Be clear with your intentions when you ask her out? We are being clear, we wanna date you. What are YOU so confused about? I’m sure there’s assholes out there for you two girls :]
February 15, 2010
#23
Fail. Coffee dates? No wonder you’re in the friend zone!
February 15, 2010
#24
All you did was browse 4chan for an hour. You created nothing and should be ashamed of yourself.
February 15, 2010
#25
Weird…. it’s all weird.
“dating” is not a big deal. Why wait? Just ask her out.. if she says no, move on. Who cares. People find love and say “she is one in a million”.. that means there are 300 more just like her or BETTER in America alone!!!
February 15, 2010
#26
Thanks for presenting the female perspective:
“But you’re the only girl who talks to me! We must fuck!”
FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
February 15, 2010
#27
Can I just say that it is not only WOMEN who pull the “aw no I like just being friends” card? I am a woman who really doesn’t comprehend or have any interest in the vast majority of the female population so 95% of my friends are male, and it’s great, 95% of the time, EXCEPT for when one of us develops unwanted feelings for another. And you know what? Half the time it’s me, half the time it’s one of them, so this is NOT just a female thing. Of course, I don’t let my male friends buy me things (except like birthdays, or if I got the drinks last night, or whatever), I’m not even sure I know HOW to flirt, and I won’t have sex with them unless I’m certain they understand it’s just as friends. Oh, and as I admitted, I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WOMEN.
February 15, 2010
#28
Get over it. People like people who can’t return the feeling all of the time. Get a straw and suck it up, haha. God, men are so sensitive.
February 15, 2010
#29
Accurate.
February 16, 2010
#30
Yes sir, you have a point.
February 18, 2010
#31
I think this is funny because of how the boy is in the situation. I’ve been in situations like this before as the girl. I find it annoying that 99% of the time you can’t have a close male friend (not even very close, but just talking sometimes and occasionally hanging out). It’s quite sad that the majority of boys we shall say… (not real men) are only interested in being a girls real friend if they think they will have a shot at sleeping with her. I find the majority of the males that are this way to be desperate, ugly, lame, and end up to be not great catches even as friends anyway. It’s extremely hard to find a real male friend, which tends to be shitty especially if you have similar interests.
It’s also funny how you think this guy could truly love her more than her other real boyfriends ever could, sure it might be possible on a very immature level, but reality is, he probably doesn’t even know love or a real relationship. If they did date he’d probably end up being another stupid boyfriend anyway. That’s how the learning process goes most of the time. The problem is that this dude isn’t the one as she knows because she’s not even interested in him in a romantic way and that’s that. if you know, you know. If she doesn’t feel that attraction and tells him he needs to either be a dick and stop being her friend OR be a man and suck it up. Get over it and find someone else. Period. Overall, the main problem here is the guy is desperate and can’t figure out how to get other girls to talk to him.
Even though I’m saying this…. these were funny
Just wanted to give my 2 cents!
February 24, 2010
#32
OMG IT SO TRUE … ALL THOSE HAPPENDED TO ME :X
March 24, 2010
#33
Here’s the thing: As a general rule of thumb, assume this, if we’re single and we make plans to hang out with YOU AND ONLY YOU (not like, continuously in a group or something fun like that), then we dig you, and it is completely unacceptable that you would allow us to continue to buy you stuff and take you out.
April 23, 2010
#34
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April 24, 2010
#35
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April 26, 2010
#36
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to discuss infinitely
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April 27, 2010
#37
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This situation is familiar to me. Let’s discuss.
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April 30, 2010
#38
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April 30, 2010
#39
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October 27, 2010
#40
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February 22, 2011
#41
Thanks for confirming what many of us already knew: guys don’t give a shit about girls unless there’s a possibility of getting laid. If a guy says he thinks you’re “interesting” he probably means he’s interested in fucking you and that’s it.