Name: Mr. Messy
Age (at the time): 16

So I was living in japan and went to do some karaoke with a load of mates.  Now in Japan karaoke you get your own room and all you can drink.  This is the place to go and get totally smashed with mates.  So after about 4 hours of singing and countless pitchers of beer we were all pretty damn hammered!  so in true Japanese fashion we continue the drinking, buying up plenty of beer and whiskey from a 7/11 on the way to the next location… a kids play park!  So I end up drinking a load more beer and passing out, only to be woken up about an hour later when the sun hit my face.

So, still totally hammered, I had to try and drag my ass home… this was a 45 minute train journey at about 6:30 am.  On my way to the station I get this real rumble in the jungle and puke on the road.  Now this is not the relatively easy watery puke that flows nicely out!  This was thick, yellow, fowl smelling beer puke!… this stuff is fucking rotten, and unfortunately there was a lot of it! this smell will stay with you for days…and i got it on my hands and down my front, and I still had to get home!  So I make it to the train station hop the barriers (as I had no money whatsoever) and get on the train…

I wake up at about 9:30 am on the main train line in Tokyo… on a Monday morning.  now rush hour on the trains in Tokyo is like trying to fit 200 people in a mini cooper!  This shit is shoulder to shoulder cant move a muscle kind of packed, not only that but during the winter its like a suna in there. heating on full blast and peoples body heat just make it so hot!!… So I wake up, just a few stops from WHERE I STARTED, look around me and there are Japanese people all around in suits all staring holding their noses, with a look on their face that just immediately says “holy fuck hes a awake… stand back people”.  Everyone was holding their noses because I had this rotten stink of beer puke all down the front of my hoodie, the smell must have been so horrible… especially with the heat in the train car… and then… that familiar rumble.  ohhh shit… but just as i started to drool. ding. the doors open, I jump up, smash my way through the brick wall of people and onto the platform. Right then more of that putrid horrible puke right on the platform.  I eventually made it home… by about 10:15 am.  That was the longest train journey of my life!

Dear Mr. Messy,

First of all; huge props on cramming your ass onto a packed Japanese train while covered in puke.  Secondly, you should be pretty proud of yourself that you managed to hold the 2nd wave in until after the doors opened.  A lesser man would not have been able to.