Regretful Morning

My Girlfriend’s vagina is loose, what now?

Posted November 19th, 2009 at 12:42 pm by

A lot of you know what it’s like to encounter a vagina that’s been around the block a time or six. Many scholars refer to it as “the hotdog down a hallway.” Personally I like to picture one of those Dinner bell triangles that you often see in Westerns.

Diamond_Dinner_Triangle_3464_main

I was too lazy for an explanation on how this works so I grabbed one from google images.  After a loose vagina encounter the obvious approach is to start coming up with jokes to tell your friends when you guys settle down for your weekly Modern Warfare II night.  But what happens if you start dating this young lady?  Will you be able to make such an admission in front of your friends?  Is this viscous ailment curable?  Fear not young padawans, uncle Jason is here to help.

Kegles

This exercise, along with all of it’s counterparts, is probably the cheapest way to turn that saarlac pit into a snake burrow.  You can present kegles in a completely innocent manner, follow this example.  Buy a book or video on Kegle exercises as a gift for your girlfriend.  When she hits you with “WTF dog you don’t think my pussy is tight enough?”  you can hit back with “Oh shit homegirl, I thought I was buying you the Thigh Master DvD you mentioned.”

CHunxThighmaster

It’s a flawless way to stay out of the dog house while planting a seed.

Vinegar

“I dip my finger in vinegar then give er the ol’ pinky and it tightens right up” -  Dave the trailer park guy

absolue052

When we were in 8th grade we’d often get random bits of advice from a weird guy who lived in the trailer near my friend Ron’s house.  And although we laughed at lessons like this, I haven’t met a female who told me that this method does not work.  Ladies, if you’re going to call bullshit I’ll need pics and video – thanks.

Larger Penis

Is it all possible that the problem lies with you and not her?  Probably not, but we’ll go there just in case.

Julian-McMahon-nt03

“Well doc it feels like I’m slamming my junk into a bottomless bowl of jell-o.”  Hypothetically: Let’s say your GF hasn’t been passed around like a J at a 311 concert.  Yet for some reason, you still feel like a Q-Tip in a Coke bottle.  I’ll tell you from experience that pills and pumps are a joke.  As a last resort you can get snipped and stretched.

Conclusion:

grope

I put my hand up on y0 hip, when I dip you dip we dip

Let’s face it, your girlfriend has seen more meat whistles than a urinal at Yankees stadium.  At least now you can embrace this touchy situation with additional knowledge.  Remember, you can always turn toward surgery if you’re not big on confrontation.  However, it’d probably be cheaper to just swap that catchers mit for another.

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27 Comments
  • Mistakes Girls Make
    November 30, 2009
    Reply


    #1

    This has been covered in depth at mistakesgirlsmake.com

  • tickyul
    December 4, 2009
    Reply


    #2

    Yes, size matters! When her box is as large as a ROADKILLED POSSUM you get hddth syndrome (hot dog down the hallway). Ladies you can avoid this by 1. avoid being a size queen. 2. don’t crap out too many kids.

  • Counter Strike
    December 20, 2009
    Reply


    #3

    ???????!!! ??? ?????!

  • Andorra
    December 21, 2009
    Reply


    #4

    ? ???????? ??????? :) ???????? ?? ?????? ????? ? ?????? ?? ?????.

  • ?????
    December 21, 2009
    Reply


    #5

    ?????????!

  • V
    February 13, 2010
    Reply


    #6

    its not her, its you! Fellas face it, you are just too small! ha ha ha

  • OboyMike
    March 7, 2010
    Reply


    #7

    perhaps this is where Osama is hiding

  • mr woodcock
    October 10, 2010
    Reply


    #8

    girls who has a loose ass pussy dont always mean they fuck too much . I have met virgin who has a canyon cunt when she lubes up ,so its really the way she was built ,but i dont get with hoes who worry about dick size ,they should worry about std !!!!!!

  • stuntcock
    December 19, 2010
    Reply


    #9

    It’s not us, is your gigantic gaping maw of a vagina. I leave bitches trembling, I’ve been thrown out of hotel rooms for making them scream and recently I had sex with a girl that looked at my 6.5 inch dick like it was a toothpick. After attempting sex we had a conversation about it, the entire time I’m thinking “I COULDN’T FEEL SHIT IN THAT MARIANA TRENCH YOU CALL A CUNT”. and she’s telling me she doesn’t think it’s gonna work out like I’m supposed to be wounded. I was relieved. AAND she refuses to give head. No wonder she’s still trying on men like shoes.

    Ugh. Worst experience of my life.

  • Ugh
    January 2, 2011
    Reply


    #10

    6.5? Are we supposed to be impressed? Those women were definitely faking it if all you count on is size…

  • BooBoo
    March 28, 2011
    Reply


    #11

    i’m a girl, and virgin 14 years young… and i have a loose vagina some how… i’m soo scared if i find a fella then he’d complain about my woman place.. i’m soo scared… why do i have a loose woman place.. if i’m a virgin… and how can i get it tighen… plz help :(

    • boo boo boy
      April 8, 2011
      Reply


      #12

      he wont complain if he loves u…dont worry…guys arenot worried about how tight or loose it is…we are more worried about if our penis are too small hahaha…

    • DemonGodKidRahl
      May 15, 2011
      Reply


      #13

      thats too bad that you think you are loose i once knew a 14 or 15 y/o(when i was 15) girl that would use her fist and said she wanted to beable to take the whole thing maybe that mr wood guy fucked the same girl i once knew, i ever had a video of her doing that, it was hot, her pussy and her she was yumm just sayin a virgin that is loose must use sex toys or ect…

  • BooBoo
    April 13, 2011
    Reply


    #14

    thank u boo boo boy :)
    thank you, for responding. :)

  • the guy next door
    April 16, 2011
    Reply


    #15

    Nope wee definitely do care if the dug out is worn out. it’s just as unfortunate for a chick as it is for a guy.I remember a few of my friends having discussions about being with an atractive chick just to be let down once encountering these man holes.I thought it was hilarious until I got a little more experienced & it happened to me.Talk about mind fuck ugghh. Also theres a big dif. from a chick that’s a little loose to ones wear there lips look like they had weights hangin from them.

  • the guy next door
    April 16, 2011
    Reply


    #16

    A lot of chics will make you wait for a while bacause of this .It’s the ole I want to wait till the time is right routine.Hopeing by then your feelings will out way .Also becareful if you’ve been with your chic for a while & all of a sudden your no longer able to accomodate her. But to be totaly honest about this situation I will work with a little loosenes I mean sometimes it does have to do with the way she’s built or maybe just not a good day nothings perfect. I just watch out for odors mostly that’s my thing , & to “ugh” who say 6.5 is’nt enough to make women happy is a bit of a “stretch” im seven & I hit bottom most of the time.

  • Size?
    June 9, 2011
    Reply


    #17

    6.5? Please.. I got a 4 inches but as fat as a canon I can hardly put my fingers round it. It puts so much pressure on the gspot which is only 3 inches in. Don’t worry bout length but girth.

  • Peterminator
    June 23, 2011
    Reply


    #18

    Never heard of loose vaginas, just small dicks :)

  • loose vagina
    July 4, 2011
    Reply


    #19

    loose vagina can be tighten up easily with virgin stick :)

  • spanish fly
    July 5, 2011
    Reply


    #20

    loose vagina?get rid of your girl friend and find a new one :)

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