Name: Matt
Age: A day older than yesterday

This is how I started my morning….

Booze in Iraq is not allowed here for both the US military and the contractor I work for—some dumbasses ruined that long ago. Well, last night I happened to score a bottle of Johnny Walker Red, I hate scotch, but this is top notch shit, so I was happy. I was in my hooch doing shots and chasing it with a warm, white grape juice box and trying not to puke, when I needed to piss. I was pretty buzz’n at this point and dint wanna risk walking through the camp drunk, so I pissed in one of the half dozen water bottles laying around the little fort I constructed in my section of the ten.

Fast forward to this morning. Now, the water in our shower trailer is non-potable. You bring bottled water to brush your teeth with.

**See where this is going??**

When I woke up this morning it was still dark outside. My head was hurting…and my piss from last night was crystal clear from alcohol and the gallons of water I drink everyday.

Unbeknownst to me, I used my own piss to gargle and brush my teeth with. I splashed it on my face to wake up. I put it in my hair and rubbed into the skin on my arms and neck to refresh myself. Hell, I even washed off my toothbrush with it!

Before what I did sunk in, I got dressed and decided I’d better throw away the piss bottle while everyone in the tent was gone. I found nothing but empty bottles. Slowly my hungover brain started to grasp what I did and spent the next 15 minutes dry heaving behind a bunker.

Dear Matt, I’ve heard that once you get your first golden shower, it’s hard to go back.  Is that true?